Hi bloggy. I'm a little bit discouraged right now. I feel like I've been kind of inundated with thoughts of how to truly change lately, and it's overwhelming. Underlying all these tactics lies a question that I've had for a while now: is it truly possible to change my character for good? It's been discouraging to see myself progress for a few days, only to crash and burn in my progress a few days later or get distracted. I'm just hoping it won't take constant effort for everything I hope to change--I would like these things to become part of who I am, not just actions I waveringly make. Deep down, I know that true change is possible--the scriptures are full of examples. But I would like to be able to feel like I can harness the power to help bring that change about. I would like to feel the hope of the enabling power of the Atonement in my daily efforts. It is hard for me to want to put forth effort if it feels like it's not going to stick. Anyways. I'll feel better in the morning, but the question will still remain. I'll be looking.

How I saw the Lord's hand today (and yesterday):
1. I got to read part of my grandpa's life story with him yesterday--he loved it and it was good bonding time, which is nice, because we are all kind of introverted creatures here and I was worrying about spending my time bonding here.
2. Despite the fact that I was stressing out during my entire test today, I got a good score! I was discouraged and fuzzy-brained the whole time, but Heavenly Father helped me out.
3. I realized how harmful some household and makeup products can be, and became a little bit more willing to accept natural products. It'll be a task, but as the author of ablogaboutlove.com put it, if small amounts of food (like the hormones in dairy and meat) can affect us drastically (in my case with dairy, it is the sole culprit in my lack of clear skin), what are the small (and large) amounts of chemicals we surround ourselves with doing to us? So, I'm willing to look into it.
4. Yellow flowers from the garden yesterday, yellow bracelet today (99 pence!)
5. My grandma has the book "The Secret," and I agree with a lot of it (but not all). I'm trying to figure out what the balance is between mental manifestation/creation and plain effort. I think there is a place for both. Mental/spiritual creation gives you a clear destination (and in several cases, I have seen it play a role in bringing about things I didn't think were possible), but you've got to have the actions to back it up. I think that the parable of the seed in Alma 32 could be the answer to my question of true change. I was led to it a few days ago. It's not enough to know that a goal is good. We've then got to act on it until we harvest the fruit. I do hope and believe that Heavenly Father will respect and regard every effort we make to change, and that no effort is wasted. I really hope so. And spiritual creation--I've got a lot of thoughts on it. I think, what's the harm in dreaming, even if it isn't sufficient? And what is lost if we don't dream? A lot. I often think, if I can't even imagine myself accomplishing something, how do I expect myself to take the actions to accomplish it? Spiritual creation gives us the faith and guidance that we can achieve things. It only takes a moment to dream/visualize, so nothing is lost, but there's a lot to be gained, as long as we back those thoughts up with actions. I think it also has the power of helping us formulate an actual plan. As for action plans, I've seen lately that we have habits for a reason. If we want to change our habits, we've either got to see why it's important or change what we're doing so that it's easier to keep the new habit than the old one. We hold on to our habits because of our needs. We've got to recognize the need behind the habit, like that Guardian article pointed out.