The temple closes at 12 pm today and doesn't open again until Tuesday. I am discouraged right now. Is that okay? It seems like as soon as anyone has problems everyone else tries to drag them back to happiness without acknowledging what's wrong. There is something that needs to be fixed, and for me it's going to the temple.
"The season of the world before us will be like no other in the history of mankind. Satan has and will unleash every evil, every scheme, every blatant vile perversion ever known to man in any generation. Just as this dispensation is the fullness of times, so it is also the dispensation of the fullness of evil. We and our wives and husbands, our children, and our members must find safety. There is no safety in the world; wealth cannot provide it, enforcement agencies cannot assure it, membership alone in this Church will not guarantee it.
As the evil night darkens upon this generation, we must come to the temple for light and safety. In our temples we find quiet, sacred havens where the storm cannot penetrate to us. Unseen sentinels often times watch over us. The Prophet Joseph plead with God during the dedicatory prayer at Kirtland: "And we ask Thee Holy Father that Thy servants may go forth from this house armed with Thy power and that Thy name may be upon them and Thine angels have charge over them." The Lord has promised, "For I will go before your face. I will be on your right hand and on your left, and my Spirit shall be in your hearts, and mine angels round about you, to bear you up." (Doctrine & Covenants 84:88) Surely angelic attendants guard the temples of the most high God. It is my conviction as it was in the days of Elisha so it will be for us. "They that be with us are more than they that be with them." (2 Kings 6:16)
Before the Savior comes the world will darken. There will come a time when even the elect will begin to lose hope if they do not come to the temples. The world will be so filled with evil that the righteous will only feel secure through their faith in Christ and within the temple walls. I believe the Saints will come to the temples not only to do vicarious work but to find a God-given haven of peace. The true and faithful Latter-day Saints will long to bring their children to our temples for safety's sake.
I believe we may well have living on the earth today or will soon be born the boy or babe that will be the prophet when the Savior comes. Of course there are many who will sit in the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles living among us today. They will be
continuously called over the years and many of us are walking with them not knowing that one day God will move his hand and the mantle of apostleship will rest upon them. Many others in our homes and communities throughout the world will receive apostolic callings. We must keep them sweet, clean and pure in an oh so wicked world. Mothers will cradle in their arms and nurse at their bosoms babes who have been foreordained to be the living oracles of God.
There will be greater hosts of unseen beings in the temple. Joseph told the brethren, "And I beheld that the temple was filled with angels." (History of the Church, vol. 2, page 428.) I believe prophets of old as well as those in this dispensation will visit the temples. Those who attend the temples will feel their strength and companionship. We will not be alone in our temples.
Endowed faithful members of the Church who keep all their covenants including the sacred coverings will be safe as protected behind temple walls. The covenants and ordinances are filled with faith as a living fire. In a day of desolation sickness, scorched earth, barren wastes, sickening plagues, disease, destruction, and death, (See Joel 2:2-6; also Doctrine & Covenants 29 and 133) we as a people will rest in the shade of trees. We will drink from the cooling fountains. We will abide in places of refuge from the storm. We will mount up as on eagles wings, we will be lifted out of a wicked, insane and evil world. We will be as fair as the sun and clear as the moon.
The Savior will come and honor his people. Those who are spared and prepared for that glorious triumphal day will be a temple loving people. They will know him and see him in his "red apparel, and his garments like him that treadeth in the wine-vat. The sun shall hide his face in shame, and the moon shall withhold its light, and the stars shall be hurled from their places." And the "redeemed shall mention the loving kindness of their Lord, and all that he has bestowed upon them according to his goodness." (Doctrine & Covenants 133:48-49,52.) They will cry out, "Blessed by the name of He that cometh in the name of the Lord. Thou art my God and I will bless thee, thou art my God and I will exalt thee." Then we will all join in one grand "Hosannah" that will ring from one end of eternity to the other. A hosannah shout to God and the Lamb.
Those who live in that day, our children or children's children, will bow down at His feet and worship Him as the Lord of lords, the King of kings. They will bathe His feet with their tears and He will weep and bless them for having suffered through the greatest trials ever known to man. His bowels will be filled with compassion and his heart will swell wide as eternity and he will love them. He will bring peace that will last a thousand years and they will dwell with him.
Let us prepare this special future generation with faith to surmount every trial and every condition. We will do it in our holy sacred temples. Come, come, oh, come up to the temples of the Lord and walk in his "holiness to the Lord" edifices.
The Lord's temples stand as an ensign to the nations. They tower upward as a monument to our Master and Savior. All that we do in the temples ties us to the atonement. I thank God for grand and holy temples. I thank God for the light, knowledge and instruction that distills upon me and all who attend the temple. May we praise his holy name forever. May we always be inclined toward his holy purposes and may God watch over and have mercy on all who faithfully perform the glorious work as Saviors on Mount Zion. Oh, how beautiful are the feet, the robes, the countenances, the souls of those who come to the holy temples of God." -Elder Vaughn J. Featherstone
If you will spend half a day every month in the temple, the Lord has provided us these powerful promises:
1. If a man, you will become mighty; if a woman, powerful. (D&C 109:22)
2. It will serve as great "insurance protection" for your marriage. (D&C 132:19)
3. The blessings of the Eternal Gods will be called down upon you, and great spiritual growth will be yours. (D&C 109: 12&14)
4. Unseen angels will watch over your loved ones when Satanic forces tempt them. (Acts 27:23)
5. Your families will draw close to the Lord and there will be no empty chairs in the Celestial Kingdom. (Hymn #301)
6. Your children will all go on missions. (D&C 109:58)
7. You children will get married in the temple. (conference talks)
8. The veil will be thin, you will have great spiritual growth, and many spiritual experiences will distill upon you. (D&C 138)
9. You will be prepared for exaltation--with a celestial body, a celestial mind, and a celestial personality. (3 Nephi 3, 12-20)
10. You will become receptive to divine guidance and you will receive spiritual perception to help you grapple with your problems and cares. (D&C 3:1-3, 38:30)
11. You will see clearly how to make critical decisions that weigh heavily on your mind. (D&C 109:42)
12. You will become Christlike. (D&C 109:22-25)
Very strong promises, and promises that I very much need in my life right now as Satan rages throughout the world, destroying my peace and giving an overall feeling of spiritual uneasiness. I need the temple so much. In a world such as this, one drowning in spiritual filth, television shows that would make our grandparents cringe, and worries of how filthy the world will be for my children, I need some anchor. I wish I could have some optimism about the future right now, but it's hard. How could I, when it seems like Satan is trying to get in to form of media and the good media out there is so very sparse? Every day I am shocked and at the same time desensitized by his blatant but also subtle attempts to defile his brothers and sisters. I need the temple. It became obvious to me last night that we are called the chosen generation for a reason - we are waging a spiritual war every day of our lives, and we cannot survive with a flippant attitude. I make a promise right now to never lower my standards, to never compromise losing the Spirit. I promise to live with high standards, not just standards a bit better than the world's, because that would mean that my standard would still drop. Even if it means I can no longer watch TV or listen to the Top 40s - it is worth it. In fact, I don't feel like I'm giving up anything at all by shunning much of what is shoved in my face. No matter the storms ahead in life, I am going on the offense against Satan, and Christ stands by me. I'm raising my title of liberty right now Satan, and I will never lower it.
12.31.2010
12.30.2010
12.27.2010
I Hope to Be a Pencil
"I am a little pencil in the hand of a writing God who is sending a love letter to the world." -Mother Teresa
12.20.2010
CALL ME CRAZY!
I am going to volunteer in Ecuador for at least one month. I AM CRAZY! And I am stoked. And I am scared. AND I'M EXCITED!
Thought this video might add to the suspense: http://www.youtube.com/user/MormonMessagesYouth#p/u/1/ncnoedHIGHM
Who's excited?! :D
P.S. I AM MADLY IN LOVE WITH BRANDON JACKSON!
Thought this video might add to the suspense: http://www.youtube.com/user/MormonMessagesYouth#p/u/1/ncnoedHIGHM
Who's excited?! :D
P.S. I AM MADLY IN LOVE WITH BRANDON JACKSON!
12.19.2010
Gracie's Theme
As I watched this, I just cried and cried and cried. Gracie has the purest spirit about her. Some spirits are too pure for this earth. Let us always be grateful for our families and do our part for the future children of the world.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KVaaRx1-kSs
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KVaaRx1-kSs
12.15.2010
Stories Like These...
...make me want to read my whole life. :)
"Krum was having a grand time with his neophyte. He would have stayed up all night. Immured in the little print room crowded with files and redolent of acids, he conducted his disciple “glass-eyed” through the dim frontiers of space, holding before him one after another the likenesses of universes sister to our own, islanded in immeasurable vacancy, curled like glimmering crullers on their private Milky Ways, and hiding in their wombs their myriad “coal-pockets,” star-dust fetuses of which – their quadrillion years accomplished – their litters of new suns would be born, to bear their planets, to bear their moons in turn." ("The Man Who Saw Through Heaven", Wilbur D. Steele)
12.14.2010
12.09.2010
"Scores of Thoroughfares Leading to the Master"
"With every step we take in His footsteps, we abandon a doubt and gain a truth. Then each Christmas will be the best Christmas ever." -President Monson
This church is true! Of that I am absolutely sure. More sure than anything else in my life.
12.05.2010
I'm Crying!
For a good reason. This dissolved all my fears. And tears. haha. I love my mum! I'm excited to live at home with her again. That definitely is a blessing. http://beta.lds.org/youth/mormon-messages/video/our-true-identity?locale=eng&autoplay=true
"Love your mother, my young sisters. Respect her. Listen to her. Trust her. She has your best interests at heart. She cares about your eternal safety and happiness. -M. Russell Ballard
I wish I could give her a hug right now. I love her so much.
"Love your mother, my young sisters. Respect her. Listen to her. Trust her. She has your best interests at heart. She cares about your eternal safety and happiness. -M. Russell Ballard
I wish I could give her a hug right now. I love her so much.
12.04.2010
Ohhh. My. Gosh.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FmqFgEFXs3I
People are so talented!!! Sometimes the only response I have to incredible things is to laugh, because I can't even believe it!
People are so talented!!! Sometimes the only response I have to incredible things is to laugh, because I can't even believe it!
12.03.2010
Man Strike
Sometimes I can't help but just laugh. I'm reclaiming my position looking for any Newsies roaming the earth. I'm on another man strike. haha
11.28.2010
11.27.2010
Mormon 5:11
"...they will sorrow that this people had not repented that they might have been clasped in the arms of Jesus."
SO POETIC!
SO POETIC!
Merry Thanksgiving!
I want to celebrate all year! Honestly, I am so blessed. Where much is given, much is required!
five things I'm grateful for today:
1. contacts - They make chopping onions a lot less painful! And they're pretty helpful for seeing, too!
2. gratitude - It sounds ironic, but "we can only be said to be alive in those moments when our hearts are conscious of our treasures."
3. that I am not removing turkey giblets right now - One more reason that I love Alastair. :)
4. that I am alive - Not that I came close to dying, but none of us have warantees on life, and I try to remember that!
5. my fammy - Let's be honest. They adore me. :) Which I am so grateful for, because when you're just another face in the crowd, it's nice to know that Mama always cares. :)
five things I'm grateful for today:
1. contacts - They make chopping onions a lot less painful! And they're pretty helpful for seeing, too!
2. gratitude - It sounds ironic, but "we can only be said to be alive in those moments when our hearts are conscious of our treasures."
3. that I am not removing turkey giblets right now - One more reason that I love Alastair. :)
4. that I am alive - Not that I came close to dying, but none of us have warantees on life, and I try to remember that!
5. my fammy - Let's be honest. They adore me. :) Which I am so grateful for, because when you're just another face in the crowd, it's nice to know that Mama always cares. :)
11.23.2010
11.22.2010
11.21.2010
Trials and Triumphs
Can I just tell you how blessed I am? It almost makes me feel guilty! There is so much that Heavenly Father has given to me. I hope I can show my gratitude a bit better through service. Today I’m grateful for prayer. Oh how incredible it is. My life is ten times easier by calling upon my Savior for relief, even in little things. I’m trying to learn to remember to pray for help in changing (that was a lot of conjunctions in one independent clause!). I can testify that we cannot change, truly change, without the Savior. He can change our very hearts and desires. Ask, seek, knock.
I want to tell you about my Savior; that "we talk of Christ, we rejoice in Christ, we preach of Christ”.
Last week, I went to the temple. Going to the temple blesses you, simple as that. In the temple, it came to me that I needed to give more time to God. So that night I asked my roommate if I could steal the room for a while. I wasn’t feeling the Spirit, so I cleaned up the room, prayed, and felt like I should watch a few EFY videos. As I did, I realized that I had been empty inside for quite a while, trying to fill the void with all sorts of distractions. I had gotten stuck “in the thick of the thin of things”. I had forgotten Christ.
I watched two videos. The first were stories from three people who had slipped and fallen, and been saved by Christ – one of the people was a guy who had been spiritually coasting. I felt like that guy. If spirituality were food, I was starving myself. I was in a bad condition spiritually, and I was scared as to how tight my grip on the iron rod actually was.
The second video was a survey among nonmembers, asking them if they believed people could really change. Without exception, they said no. The interviews turned to members; they said yes, with something extra added: we can only change through Christ. A video of President Eyring came on. As he bore his testimony his voice broke with emotion. At that point, my hardened heart broke. I needed Christ so much. With sincerity, I pled in prayer for my Savior to save me.
For one of the first times in my life, I recognized His love for me. He comforted me; I could almost imagine Him comforting me as I cried in His arms. “Just want to know You’re going to hold me if I start to cry.” (Mindy Gledhill) It was an incredible moment. I finally saw Christ’s true nature. I had always imagined that when I met my Savior it would be a new feeling. It wasn’t. It was a familiar feeling; I’ve felt that love before. It’s the love my mum has for me. That’s my Savior’s love.
As I looked at paintings of Christ later that night, there was a feeling. It was love for my Savior, and it was sweet and warm. I really do love my Savior. I’m finally remembering Who He is. He loves, not condemns, as I always perceived Him. I’m trying to keep the commandments now because I love Him, not because of fear.
My roommate was to give the lesson in Relief Society a few days after this experience, so she was practicing it with me. I felt that love for Christ again as I watched a video filled with paintings of Him, set to “Come Thou Fount”. As she gave her lesson on Sunday, she gave time for testimonies. After my experience, I could not let the opportunity pass. I was crying already, but once I got up there, I was so overcome with emotion that I couldn’t even speak for probably ten seconds. At fast and testimony meeting, my friends got up and testified that God loves us and Christ atoned for our sins. That feeling of warmth came to me again. I love my Savior.
Flash forward a week. I was worried after that incredible experience that I would fall back to my old ways. I was still struggling spiritually, but I now had a testimony of my Savior’s love. I brought it up to Neil, and he gave me such wise counsel. We set up a plan to do certain things. He said that we need to set attainable goals, and when those goals become too routine, make it a bit tougher. He also told me that I can get a blessing whenever I need one. I needed one. J I asked one of my friends if he could give me one. He did, and it was exactly what I needed. It brought me hope that this trial was temporary and that God loves me; it gave me the strength to pray for help. Blessings are incredible. You worthy, humble priesthood holders are incredible. I’m just glad that there is no limit on blessings, because I would have passed it by now!
All in all, all is well. I am stronger and humbled because of this trial. I know my Savior now. Christ got me through this; I did not. I cannot do anything of myself. I worry that I will fall back into my old ways. I hope that I can remember. President Kimball said that the word “remember” is the most important word in the dictionary.
Can I just say? Prayer is so incredible. Did you know that in 3 Nephi 11-20 sixty of the verses are about prayer? Eleven prayers are offered in those chapters. We have a perfect pattern for prayer in there, straight from our Savior! I learn so much in my Book of Mormon class. One quote that I really liked: “Prayer is our personal key to heaven – and the lock is on our side.”
I think 3 Nephi is becoming my favorite passage in the Book of Mormon. It gives so many answers! I love the scriptures! Lately I’ve been searching the scriptures for answers. They are always in there. The scriptures give me such peace, and when the Spirit is present, it’s like God is speaking to me. So much to glean!
One wise brother told me that trials in our lives are like walls. Whenever we come to one we can turn around, away from God, or climb the wall and become closer to God. Every trial helps us grow if we turn to God. We cannot do it alone!!!
Lastly, gratitude changes your entire world. You are instantly happier and a smile comes so easily on your face! I am trying to learn that lesson.
"Thou hast given so much to me,
Give one thing more, - a grateful heart;
Not thankful when it pleaseth me,
As if Thy blessings had spare days,
But such a heart whose pulse may be Thy praise."
~George Herbert
Give one thing more, - a grateful heart;
Not thankful when it pleaseth me,
As if Thy blessings had spare days,
But such a heart whose pulse may be Thy praise."
~George Herbert
I’m so grateful for all my loved ones right now. They got me through a rough time, as tools in the Lord’s hands.
11.13.2010
No Longer What-Iffer Sputiffer
"All the sleepless nights, burdened days, joyless, resless, peace-destroying, health-destroying, happiness-destroying, love-destroying hours men and women have ever in all earth's centuries given to Worry never wrought one good thing!" SO TRUE! I am done, worry. Just because I've lived with you all my life doesn't mean I liked you. Sure, it seems safer to worry and feel safe about considering every worst-case scenario, but truly it takes faith to do your best and give Him the rest. And today I am giving my best. And I'm giving Him the rest. My life is in His hands. I can't mess it up so badly that He cannot fix it, and there is no weakness in me that He cannot transform into strength. He knows best. He loves me. He is always there in my trials. He knows my struggles because He suffered them for me. I cannot forget that.
11.12.2010
11.10.2010
"Give." -Little Stream
"I have learned that it is by serving that we learn how to serve. When we are engaged in the service of our fellowmen, not only do our deeds assist them, but we put our own problems in a fresher perspective. When we concern ourselves more with others, there is less time to be concerned with ourselves. In the midst of the miracle of serving, there is the promise of Jesus, that by losing ourselves, we find ourselves. (See Matt. 10:39.)...George MacDonald observed that “it is by loving and not by being loved that one can come nearest to the soul of another.” (George MacDonald Anthology, Geoffrey Bles, London, 1970.) Of course, we all need to be loved, but we must be giving and not always receiving if we want to have wholeness in our lives and a reinforced sense of purpose."-Spencer W. Kimball
11.03.2010
11.02.2010
The Infinite Power of Hope
"Oh be not dismayed, for I am thy God and will still give Thee aid."
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UbsU3b2srQA
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UbsU3b2srQA
10.25.2010
10.23.2010
THE TRUTH
All in all, know that His hand is stretched out still. It always will be. Even if you give up on yourself, He never will. He loves you!
10.22.2010
Santa Fe
Day 297: I'm still in love with the Newsies. And its songs are still stuck in my head! Three days counting! Fine life carrying the banner of New York! SO CATCHY! Be careful! haha
10.21.2010
10.20.2010
I Got Newsies
I LOVE THE NEWSIES! They let me keep dreaming. haha. And there is a guy here who looks exactly like Christian Bale does in it! Any guy that I could imagine as a Newsie is instantly such a stud. Getcho newsies caps on fellas! Quality entertainment=Newsies. Newsies are real men! Okay, I'm done. :) Seize the day!
10.19.2010
10.17.2010
Attitude of Gratitude Baby
I love being grateful! Today I'm grateful for grasshoppers, because they are the perfect background music for a romantic summer evening! Who's with me? haha
10.16.2010
I AM SO STRESSEDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD.
PHEW.
HELP. :(
But man oh man.
P.S. Stressed is dessert spelled backwards.
PHEW.
HELP. :(
But man oh man.
P.S. Stressed is dessert spelled backwards.
10.08.2010
My Testimony
I love the Book of Mormon! It has such awesome truths in it. It is for us in this day - every verse. I am reading a lot of it for my Book of Mormon class, and I have already found a plethora of truths, hope, things I need to change! It is the keystone of our religion. I love it.
Some truths I found:
-We must be prepared to win our battles against trials.
-It is easier to keep a good habit in hard moments than to give in and try to get back out of a bad habit.
-Pride is putting our ways above God's and trying to be better than others. Pride seeks power and can destroy nations.
-We cannot go into a tempting situation where we've slipped before and think that this time will be different. We have to change our circumstances, not trying to strengthen our will. It is so much easier to choose the right when you don't place yourself in those bad situations!
And lastly, Christ can wipe away every pain, every shame, everything. There is no one that the Atonement cannot reach, no hands that hang down that Christ cannot lift, no pain He has not been through or cannot take away. He is powerful. He is so kind. I love my Savior! As I come to know Him, or rather, remember Him, I love Him more and more. I will weep one day to see the Master who has given me everything, changed my very heart. The Book of Mormon points to Him. He lives in every one of us - He is found in every pain we have felt, because He felt it too. He is every joy because gives us that joy! The Atonement is incredible. It is a gift I can never ever even express gratitude for, and could never imagine being able to repay. I am eternally in debt to the kindest, most perfect man to walk on Earth.
"I know that my Redeemer lives! What comfort this sweet sentence gives."
Some truths I found:
-We must be prepared to win our battles against trials.
-It is easier to keep a good habit in hard moments than to give in and try to get back out of a bad habit.
-Pride is putting our ways above God's and trying to be better than others. Pride seeks power and can destroy nations.
-We cannot go into a tempting situation where we've slipped before and think that this time will be different. We have to change our circumstances, not trying to strengthen our will. It is so much easier to choose the right when you don't place yourself in those bad situations!
And lastly, Christ can wipe away every pain, every shame, everything. There is no one that the Atonement cannot reach, no hands that hang down that Christ cannot lift, no pain He has not been through or cannot take away. He is powerful. He is so kind. I love my Savior! As I come to know Him, or rather, remember Him, I love Him more and more. I will weep one day to see the Master who has given me everything, changed my very heart. The Book of Mormon points to Him. He lives in every one of us - He is found in every pain we have felt, because He felt it too. He is every joy because gives us that joy! The Atonement is incredible. It is a gift I can never ever even express gratitude for, and could never imagine being able to repay. I am eternally in debt to the kindest, most perfect man to walk on Earth.
"I know that my Redeemer lives! What comfort this sweet sentence gives."
10.04.2010
Put My Hands In the Air
If I cover my vegetables in butter and melted cheese does it still count as healthy? Oh who cares!
P.S. These are my roommates. I'm so proud!
P.S. These are my roommates. I'm so proud!
And half of we six at general conference!
9.27.2010
9.23.2010
Some People Are So Cool!
http://www.flickr.com/photos/lichtmaedel/3063481872/in/set-72157609809680792/
I've decided that I'm really into learning and discovering right now! Bring it on!
I've decided that I'm really into learning and discovering right now! Bring it on!
You Betcha!
A husband is not a financial plan. Just throwing that out there to remember why I'm in college.
9.17.2010
We Have a Great Responsibility
"Young women, we send out a call throughout all the world—not a call you can hear only with your ears, lest it sound preachy; not a call you read only with your eyes, lest it look ordinary on the printed page—but rather a call that you hear with your heart and spirit. If you will pause and listen with your spirit, you will hear the call—the call for you, not someone else; the call for today, not tomorrow; a call to join with all the other young women in the Church, those who are righteous and those who need help and encouragement to set aside the things that are keeping them from becoming who they really are to become." -Ardeth G. Kapp
9.15.2010
Hi College. :)
Hooray! I'm at college! And yesterday I was so stressed! But the good thing about hard times is that they make good times. I'm dropping an expensive, not-very-revelant class and I already feel so much better just thinking about it! Phew. :) In other news, college is awesome! Sometimes I just stop and think, "Wait. I'm in college?" Other times I stop and think "Wait. There's a world out there?" BYU-Idaho was placed in Rexburg for a reason. ;)
My roommates are so awesome! I luff them! We have crazy wild dancing British-toned times, and our funny quote board is already full. I laugh so much with them. And our ward is awesome! A new start!
P.S. I am full up on eye candy! We have some stud muffins for sale up here in Rexburg! And can I just say that when a guy wears cute glasses, I'm already instantly attracted to him? True story.
I love that the temple is literally up the hill! Being so stressed, I went up there yesterday. It was so nice. Helped me focus again - I'm going to try to go weekly. I will definitely need it to survive college! And to survive spiritually.
Which brings me to our first devotional! President Clark and his wife spoke about the poison of entitlement - ie: thinking that we deserve things and not being grateful. A heart pricker for sure! I definitely needed it. He said there are three things we can do to replace the spirit of entitlement with humility: 1. sincere prayer 2. taking the sacrament sincerely 3. attending the temple. So I guess I already fulfilled one of those yesterday! And it felt awesome. Again, phew. :)
What was I going to say...oh yes! My first assignments! Were awesome. My professors assigned us to read talks for our first assignments - talks! This is my school. :) And yesterday for intro to landscape architecture we got to go to the beautiful gardens and take pictures! My favorite. I love humanities - our class is so fun! I've decided I love classic art and classic music. Oh, and here's my first drawing I did for online drawing:
I love drawing! I love art! Right now I'm sort of trying to decide between an art major and a horticulture major. It'll probably end up being something totally different. haha. College is fun! And it kind of seems like everyone I know reminds me of someone else...a hint of home. :) P.S. I am trying to focus on FRIENDS, not GUYS. I'm so ready!
Alright, I am ready to tackle homework! And Jack Johnson, I love you!
And Caitlin Stack, I love you more!
8.29.2010
Summer 2010
So, I am finally catching up! This is my summer. It ends next week exactly, where I will be shipped off to college! Everyone else has left for school, except a future missionary friend who is grateful for eyebrows! And what a summer. All the thrills and trills of a roller coaster! Wow. In retrospect, it covered the spectrum. Mostly fulfillment is what I felt, with moments of pure bliss. Things always seems so incredible in retrospect, huh? You realize how great it was when it's over. But it still leaves you feeling happy, despite missing it. I've really got to learn to live in the present!
So I would say that there were three hallmark moments this summer for me: the Arise youth spectacular, my sixth and final EFY, and England - twice!
The spectacular was just that! Man, it was so much fun! I'm so grateful for the people who put so much work and stress into it. I really enjoyed every minute of it. When people would say "Thank you so much for coming out. I know it's hard," I would think, "Really? This is so much fun, being surrounded by such fun, good people, learning how to sing and dance and wear angel costumes and hip-hop!" haha. I will always remember being in the gym, a zoo of people dressed up in every thinkable costume except a chicken suit! I loved the firesides before the dress rehearsal and two performances. The speaker on the last night talked about passion, I remember. That talk has such good feelings associated with it. It was just one of those times where you stop and think to yourself "This moment is absolutely perfect." And it was. The strength of 3000 youth under one roof was almost palpable.
I loved the opening fireside in January to announce the huge project, I loved the stake practices, I especially loved the council practices, because it was the extra credit to high school. I got to see all my friends one last time, having the best time! And I loved the practices with the other councils, as all the hard work came together. The dress rehearsal and performances were so much fun! There were no butterflies, surrounded by 3000 other kids doing the same thing! It was one of the greatest opportunities that I have been blessed with.
One of my favorite memories from this spectacular was our last practice as the North Council. Up on Weber High's football field, the sun was setting and it was our final dress rehearsal. We went through the whole thing with no major mistakes, showing that battling rain, hail, and heat pays off! There was an incredible spirit in the air, and God was definitely teaching me a life lesson. I'm usually a shy person and I have been my whole life. My friend told me once that our greatest weaknesses on earth were our greatest strengths in heaven. Well, that really applied to me on this night! As the sun was setting and its rays were turning golden (sometimes called Magic Hour), everyone was in the best mood. I started talking to everyone around me, not just people I knew, and it instantly felt so natural! Where I have been timid much of my life, tonight I was totally myself and it felt so good to stretch out my soul! Along with the happiness everyone was already feeling at our spectacular success, I was personally feeling God's gift of seeing more of who I really am. Like the rays of that Magic Hour, that moment in my mind will always remain golden.
Well, I am writing this post to finally finish up Personal Progress! One more hour on this puppy and I'm calling it good. :) It's only taken me six years! That's what happens when you have perfectionism syndrome. The things that I seriously could have passed off five years ago were never quite perfect. But I had to grow!
Okay, so the rest of my summer. :) Clap clap, clap clap clap, clap clap, clap clap clap, E-F-Y! Seriously the greatest week of the whole month. Maybe the whole year. :) But this year, my old age caught up to me! For the first two or three days on and off, I had a horrible attitude. Satan was trying really hard on me, trying to tell me that I was too old and I could be spending my time better. But although I was seriously considering becoming an EFY dropout, God kept me going for the whole time. No wonder Satan didn't want me to go - my testimony got an upgrade there! I learned that truly, we cannot change ourselves. That hit me so hard as the Spirit said "You've known that all along, huh?" Finally it clicked for me. And I cried. Definitely. haha. The other important thing I learned was that I am a daughter of God! Before, that had not clicked with me, and it was repeated so much that it lost its meaning to me. But as our choir director described, Heavenly Father is our Daddy. I have never really thought of it that way. It totally changed my thoughts about Him - now, instead of trying to not be condemned by Him, I could imagine myself as a little girl waving to Him in the pews as we sang. I'm way big on visual and thoughts, and it's hard for me if I don't have a parallel to draw with it, so those few words changed my life. They probably wouldn't have if they weren't said with such love. Some people just have that gift. :) Also, I learned that I need gratitude. The Spirit whispered it to me during scripture study, and the next day our devotional was about gratitude. Coincidence? Nope. :) This was definitely a more spiritual EFY than a friend EFY, but the EFY spirit was still there, and days after it left me yearning for the sheer beauty of such joy. I had to come down off the mountain (as my last post describes). haha
The other big thing was England. The first time I went was with my family. Truthfully, I did not want to come back to America. I fell in love. Hard. The scenery, the lifestyle, the sincerity of the people, coupled with being with family, was beautiful. Then, battling jet lag one night, in the dead silence, a terrifying thought came to me. It had no negative or positive connotations, it was just a thought: "What if I stayed in England?" Okay, that deeply upset me. This was the only summer that I have ever really had that freedom, and it was scary. I was still wondering whether to go or stay the day before I left, but upon my grandma saying I should go home, I thought I should go home, considering it was her house we were staying at. ;) Also, Mum reminded me that I was planning on the spectacular and EFY. I thought I was clear, until lo and behold, in the middle of a sacrament meeting a few weeks later back at home, the thoughts came back. Upon first thinking them, I was still, yes, terrified. But upon further examination through a few days, it became more realistic to me. Yes, two years ago I was scared out of my mind to ride a plane for ten hours as I suffered from panic attacks. But wasn't it God who cured me of my panic attacks by having the faith to believe that He would catch me? He did catch me. :) So I ended up on a plane on August 3, crying in my mother's arms to be so far away for so long. I didn't even know why I was going, but since I couldn't figure it out, I decided to try and find out when I got there. Honestly, still today I don't know exactly why I went. I wasn't saved from a terrible earthquake, I didn't convert any loved ones, and I didn't find my future husband. But I changed. Being immersed in that environment, I became. I found out that God changes us through challenges. He brings out the godhood in us that can't be coaxed out by ten-week plans. It is hard. I spent most nights being the most lonely I have ever been. But what I'm trying to say is that God makes things possible. My dad is a pilot. My grandparents live in England. It was possible. And I grew. I became more confident, I found out how much I love gardening, I helped my grandpa write five chapters of his life story, I became more independent but also closer to my family, I came to appreciate the beauty of where I live plus the joy of being surrounded by friends and members of my church to help keep me strong. Still, I worry about what God will whisper for me to do next, because, yes, it is hard. But if it has the power to change me, alright. I hope to have as great of strength as Lehi and Nephi to follow dreams (literally) and compasses to a promised land. Sometimes it is hard to know what is from God; but although Satan can counterfeit many other emotions (lust for love, thrills for joy), he cannot counterfeit peace. And that's how I knew with England. Considering between staying and going, staying left me with a feeling comfort but no peace. Going left me with fear but peace. I chose to go. I'm hoping this isn't a brag post. It was just probably the biggest step of faith I've taken. A big decision. And you reading this (whoever you are) can do it too. 1 Nephi 3:7, baby. God makes all His commandments possible. TRUTH!
Also, a big step for me this summer is deciding to delete Facebook. And I'm certain that if I hadn't gone to England the second time, this decision would be way way harder, if possible at all. We take certain paths, and depending on what they are, it makes it easier or harder to make good decisions later on! Still, it is ALWAYS possible for us to choose the right. But I'm sure England helped me. :) In fact, that was another thing I learned in England. Facebook is a humongous waste of time for me and it accomplishes very very little for the time I have put into it. haha. In fact, while in England, as I was tempted to go on Facebook, I would stop and say "Wait. What is something that I can accomplish right now instead?". As I did those simple things, the temptation vanished. There was no desire to waste my life any longer. Still, weeks later, it is the same way. Truth has been shed on Facebook. It was a hard decision for me (not as hard as England, however. haha), but this talk - http://lds.org/ldsorg/v/index.jsp?hideNav=1&locale=0&sourceId=1e9ef6e4ff3b8210VgnVCM100000176f620a____&vgnextoid=f318118dd536c010VgnVCM1000004d82620aRCRD - by Brother Bednar sealed my decision. It is difficult to cuts ties with so many people at once, but when the doubts hit my mind, God always has His peaceful counterattacks, and it always wins. For every doubt there is truth. Truth is so comforting, I've found. And living without Facebook is so freeing, as I've also found. My creativity has opened up, my to-do lists are getting done, and as I try to put in more good, I'm hoping to do more service and strengthen my relationship with my family and with the glorious gift of my physical body. Satan tries to minimize the importance of our bodies and he can be pretty effective in our technology-drenched society. After making this decision, I have found that before I lived in two worlds: virtual and real. And by spending such excess in the virtual, the real became less real. Now, I'm not saying everyone needs to delete their Facebook. For some people, it is a tool in God's hands. For me, it is a waste of agency and a desensitizer. According to the definition of an addiction, I definitely had one. Now, I'm not free just by deleting it. That's just getting rid of the sin, and as repentance is defined, I must replace the bad with the good. I favor service. It is a cure-all! Incredible. I love it. Okay, so this post has definitely been a brag post. I'm sorry, a'ight! I have just been letting my brain work through my fingers, no editing and re-editing. These words are my own! Prideful? Probably. That's a pretty all-encompassing sin. But I hope that anything I've said has helped someone reading this to make a tough decision, or feel the Spirit, or choose to be more humble than I have been. ;) haha
And now for a super-wonderful-mom upside-exciting time in my life! BYU-Idaho. :) Bring on the thunder! I'm stoked like a wildfire. :)
So I would say that there were three hallmark moments this summer for me: the Arise youth spectacular, my sixth and final EFY, and England - twice!
The spectacular was just that! Man, it was so much fun! I'm so grateful for the people who put so much work and stress into it. I really enjoyed every minute of it. When people would say "Thank you so much for coming out. I know it's hard," I would think, "Really? This is so much fun, being surrounded by such fun, good people, learning how to sing and dance and wear angel costumes and hip-hop!" haha. I will always remember being in the gym, a zoo of people dressed up in every thinkable costume except a chicken suit! I loved the firesides before the dress rehearsal and two performances. The speaker on the last night talked about passion, I remember. That talk has such good feelings associated with it. It was just one of those times where you stop and think to yourself "This moment is absolutely perfect." And it was. The strength of 3000 youth under one roof was almost palpable.
I loved the opening fireside in January to announce the huge project, I loved the stake practices, I especially loved the council practices, because it was the extra credit to high school. I got to see all my friends one last time, having the best time! And I loved the practices with the other councils, as all the hard work came together. The dress rehearsal and performances were so much fun! There were no butterflies, surrounded by 3000 other kids doing the same thing! It was one of the greatest opportunities that I have been blessed with.
One of my favorite memories from this spectacular was our last practice as the North Council. Up on Weber High's football field, the sun was setting and it was our final dress rehearsal. We went through the whole thing with no major mistakes, showing that battling rain, hail, and heat pays off! There was an incredible spirit in the air, and God was definitely teaching me a life lesson. I'm usually a shy person and I have been my whole life. My friend told me once that our greatest weaknesses on earth were our greatest strengths in heaven. Well, that really applied to me on this night! As the sun was setting and its rays were turning golden (sometimes called Magic Hour), everyone was in the best mood. I started talking to everyone around me, not just people I knew, and it instantly felt so natural! Where I have been timid much of my life, tonight I was totally myself and it felt so good to stretch out my soul! Along with the happiness everyone was already feeling at our spectacular success, I was personally feeling God's gift of seeing more of who I really am. Like the rays of that Magic Hour, that moment in my mind will always remain golden.
Well, I am writing this post to finally finish up Personal Progress! One more hour on this puppy and I'm calling it good. :) It's only taken me six years! That's what happens when you have perfectionism syndrome. The things that I seriously could have passed off five years ago were never quite perfect. But I had to grow!
Okay, so the rest of my summer. :) Clap clap, clap clap clap, clap clap, clap clap clap, E-F-Y! Seriously the greatest week of the whole month. Maybe the whole year. :) But this year, my old age caught up to me! For the first two or three days on and off, I had a horrible attitude. Satan was trying really hard on me, trying to tell me that I was too old and I could be spending my time better. But although I was seriously considering becoming an EFY dropout, God kept me going for the whole time. No wonder Satan didn't want me to go - my testimony got an upgrade there! I learned that truly, we cannot change ourselves. That hit me so hard as the Spirit said "You've known that all along, huh?" Finally it clicked for me. And I cried. Definitely. haha. The other important thing I learned was that I am a daughter of God! Before, that had not clicked with me, and it was repeated so much that it lost its meaning to me. But as our choir director described, Heavenly Father is our Daddy. I have never really thought of it that way. It totally changed my thoughts about Him - now, instead of trying to not be condemned by Him, I could imagine myself as a little girl waving to Him in the pews as we sang. I'm way big on visual and thoughts, and it's hard for me if I don't have a parallel to draw with it, so those few words changed my life. They probably wouldn't have if they weren't said with such love. Some people just have that gift. :) Also, I learned that I need gratitude. The Spirit whispered it to me during scripture study, and the next day our devotional was about gratitude. Coincidence? Nope. :) This was definitely a more spiritual EFY than a friend EFY, but the EFY spirit was still there, and days after it left me yearning for the sheer beauty of such joy. I had to come down off the mountain (as my last post describes). haha
The other big thing was England. The first time I went was with my family. Truthfully, I did not want to come back to America. I fell in love. Hard. The scenery, the lifestyle, the sincerity of the people, coupled with being with family, was beautiful. Then, battling jet lag one night, in the dead silence, a terrifying thought came to me. It had no negative or positive connotations, it was just a thought: "What if I stayed in England?" Okay, that deeply upset me. This was the only summer that I have ever really had that freedom, and it was scary. I was still wondering whether to go or stay the day before I left, but upon my grandma saying I should go home, I thought I should go home, considering it was her house we were staying at. ;) Also, Mum reminded me that I was planning on the spectacular and EFY. I thought I was clear, until lo and behold, in the middle of a sacrament meeting a few weeks later back at home, the thoughts came back. Upon first thinking them, I was still, yes, terrified. But upon further examination through a few days, it became more realistic to me. Yes, two years ago I was scared out of my mind to ride a plane for ten hours as I suffered from panic attacks. But wasn't it God who cured me of my panic attacks by having the faith to believe that He would catch me? He did catch me. :) So I ended up on a plane on August 3, crying in my mother's arms to be so far away for so long. I didn't even know why I was going, but since I couldn't figure it out, I decided to try and find out when I got there. Honestly, still today I don't know exactly why I went. I wasn't saved from a terrible earthquake, I didn't convert any loved ones, and I didn't find my future husband. But I changed. Being immersed in that environment, I became. I found out that God changes us through challenges. He brings out the godhood in us that can't be coaxed out by ten-week plans. It is hard. I spent most nights being the most lonely I have ever been. But what I'm trying to say is that God makes things possible. My dad is a pilot. My grandparents live in England. It was possible. And I grew. I became more confident, I found out how much I love gardening, I helped my grandpa write five chapters of his life story, I became more independent but also closer to my family, I came to appreciate the beauty of where I live plus the joy of being surrounded by friends and members of my church to help keep me strong. Still, I worry about what God will whisper for me to do next, because, yes, it is hard. But if it has the power to change me, alright. I hope to have as great of strength as Lehi and Nephi to follow dreams (literally) and compasses to a promised land. Sometimes it is hard to know what is from God; but although Satan can counterfeit many other emotions (lust for love, thrills for joy), he cannot counterfeit peace. And that's how I knew with England. Considering between staying and going, staying left me with a feeling comfort but no peace. Going left me with fear but peace. I chose to go. I'm hoping this isn't a brag post. It was just probably the biggest step of faith I've taken. A big decision. And you reading this (whoever you are) can do it too. 1 Nephi 3:7, baby. God makes all His commandments possible. TRUTH!
Also, a big step for me this summer is deciding to delete Facebook. And I'm certain that if I hadn't gone to England the second time, this decision would be way way harder, if possible at all. We take certain paths, and depending on what they are, it makes it easier or harder to make good decisions later on! Still, it is ALWAYS possible for us to choose the right. But I'm sure England helped me. :) In fact, that was another thing I learned in England. Facebook is a humongous waste of time for me and it accomplishes very very little for the time I have put into it. haha. In fact, while in England, as I was tempted to go on Facebook, I would stop and say "Wait. What is something that I can accomplish right now instead?". As I did those simple things, the temptation vanished. There was no desire to waste my life any longer. Still, weeks later, it is the same way. Truth has been shed on Facebook. It was a hard decision for me (not as hard as England, however. haha), but this talk - http://lds.org/ldsorg/v/index.jsp?hideNav=1&locale=0&sourceId=1e9ef6e4ff3b8210VgnVCM100000176f620a____&vgnextoid=f318118dd536c010VgnVCM1000004d82620aRCRD - by Brother Bednar sealed my decision. It is difficult to cuts ties with so many people at once, but when the doubts hit my mind, God always has His peaceful counterattacks, and it always wins. For every doubt there is truth. Truth is so comforting, I've found. And living without Facebook is so freeing, as I've also found. My creativity has opened up, my to-do lists are getting done, and as I try to put in more good, I'm hoping to do more service and strengthen my relationship with my family and with the glorious gift of my physical body. Satan tries to minimize the importance of our bodies and he can be pretty effective in our technology-drenched society. After making this decision, I have found that before I lived in two worlds: virtual and real. And by spending such excess in the virtual, the real became less real. Now, I'm not saying everyone needs to delete their Facebook. For some people, it is a tool in God's hands. For me, it is a waste of agency and a desensitizer. According to the definition of an addiction, I definitely had one. Now, I'm not free just by deleting it. That's just getting rid of the sin, and as repentance is defined, I must replace the bad with the good. I favor service. It is a cure-all! Incredible. I love it. Okay, so this post has definitely been a brag post. I'm sorry, a'ight! I have just been letting my brain work through my fingers, no editing and re-editing. These words are my own! Prideful? Probably. That's a pretty all-encompassing sin. But I hope that anything I've said has helped someone reading this to make a tough decision, or feel the Spirit, or choose to be more humble than I have been. ;) haha
And now for a super-wonderful-mom upside-exciting time in my life! BYU-Idaho. :) Bring on the thunder! I'm stoked like a wildfire. :)
7.25.2010
7.24.2010
Opposition
I hate coming down off the mountaintop. :/ I just finished my last EFY yesterday. After such a spiritual high, I came back down to earth pretty hard. Just like with Moses, I feel like Satan is getting at me with his fiery arrows of doubt and guilt as diligently as before. I am a good person, and he is flinging every shaft he has at me. I am very frustrated at earth life right now.
And still, how I complain about having such an incredible experience? I was utterly surrounded by the Spirit for five days. Gash, I just hate decisions. I don't trust my own judgment, which makes no sense since looking back on my life, I have made the right choices. I suffer from perfectionism. Perfectionism is exhausting. Perfectionism can never be quenched; it always sees the line of dirt from where a dustpan doesn't get everything.
My natural man is fighting with the spiritual side of me. How much easier it would be to go back to my old ways, to not change. How impossible it seems to change. I feel like I am back in Satan's territory. I just feel like every choice I make is the wrong one. My heart aches for the peace I felt, for how alive I felt spiritually. In short, the roller coaster of life, of progress, is seeming to have made a stomach-lurching drop.
And still I know it's not true. I know that I am daughter of God. As Daddy's girl, I have all of His divine attributes, however buried beneath the skin of my natural man. And I know that I cannot get to those attributes. I have known it my whole life, but still, I have tried to scrub off that skin. But just like Eustace in the Voyage of the Dawn Treader, I can't tear off the dragon hide myself. Only Christ can tear through that. Jeepers. I felt the Spirit so strongly when our session director testified of that. I still do. When the Spirit testified of it, it softened my heart. Instantly. Wow.
I didn't know that I was a daughter of God either, before EFY. It was a trite saying to me, with as much feeling as a repetitious prayer. As our conductor in the musical program testified that God is our Daddy, I felt it. The Spirit testified. I finally understood what I had been trying to learn all my life. I am so grateful.
And now, my greatest desire is to have the Spirit. I want it so much. And I cannot feel it when guilt takes over, or fear guides my decisions, or doubt destroys my faith. How I yearn for that Spirit in my world. Okay, that pain still is not eased, it seems. I have such a hard time with mental trials. I can handle physical pain fine. But mental pain is so hard for me.
And still I feel guilt for this post. It is not spiritually uplifting. It is a vent, plain. And still, this unwarranted guilt guides my actions, making me angrier and angrier that I can never seem to make the right decision.
But still, Satan, you know what? Hope shines through the smog. And there is nothing you can do about it. And through all your violent, harsh, dramatic, desperate attempts, God still wins. God always wins, in His peaceful, childlike, perfect, soft way. He always wins, Satan. There is nothing you can do about that. And today, right now, amidst your pathetic attempts, He wins again. :)
And still, how I complain about having such an incredible experience? I was utterly surrounded by the Spirit for five days. Gash, I just hate decisions. I don't trust my own judgment, which makes no sense since looking back on my life, I have made the right choices. I suffer from perfectionism. Perfectionism is exhausting. Perfectionism can never be quenched; it always sees the line of dirt from where a dustpan doesn't get everything.
My natural man is fighting with the spiritual side of me. How much easier it would be to go back to my old ways, to not change. How impossible it seems to change. I feel like I am back in Satan's territory. I just feel like every choice I make is the wrong one. My heart aches for the peace I felt, for how alive I felt spiritually. In short, the roller coaster of life, of progress, is seeming to have made a stomach-lurching drop.
And still I know it's not true. I know that I am daughter of God. As Daddy's girl, I have all of His divine attributes, however buried beneath the skin of my natural man. And I know that I cannot get to those attributes. I have known it my whole life, but still, I have tried to scrub off that skin. But just like Eustace in the Voyage of the Dawn Treader, I can't tear off the dragon hide myself. Only Christ can tear through that. Jeepers. I felt the Spirit so strongly when our session director testified of that. I still do. When the Spirit testified of it, it softened my heart. Instantly. Wow.
I didn't know that I was a daughter of God either, before EFY. It was a trite saying to me, with as much feeling as a repetitious prayer. As our conductor in the musical program testified that God is our Daddy, I felt it. The Spirit testified. I finally understood what I had been trying to learn all my life. I am so grateful.
And now, my greatest desire is to have the Spirit. I want it so much. And I cannot feel it when guilt takes over, or fear guides my decisions, or doubt destroys my faith. How I yearn for that Spirit in my world. Okay, that pain still is not eased, it seems. I have such a hard time with mental trials. I can handle physical pain fine. But mental pain is so hard for me.
And still I feel guilt for this post. It is not spiritually uplifting. It is a vent, plain. And still, this unwarranted guilt guides my actions, making me angrier and angrier that I can never seem to make the right decision.
But still, Satan, you know what? Hope shines through the smog. And there is nothing you can do about it. And through all your violent, harsh, dramatic, desperate attempts, God still wins. God always wins, in His peaceful, childlike, perfect, soft way. He always wins, Satan. There is nothing you can do about that. And today, right now, amidst your pathetic attempts, He wins again. :)
7.22.2010
Dear Caitlin :)
Well this stinks! My best friend just left for California for the next six months! I dedicate this post to her. She is the only one I have met who will laugh at my full sense of humor and even get half of my jokes! She is the most genuine person I have met. And the sweetest! Really. She helps anyone...she has set up two fundraisers, she gave people presents on her birthday, she always offers to do things when she is already super booked. She is a genuinely happy person, despite her trials. She has some of the highest standards and does not waver on them. She is incredibly humble and selfless. She has deep beauty! Nothing artificial (not even her hips!) about her. She loves nature and leaves people better, usually smiling. Her laugh is unforgettable, just like she is. We are soul sisters, and I honestly hope to be more like her. I love you Caitlin!
7.07.2010
Broken Things to Mend
"The first words Jesus spoke in His majestic Sermon on the Mount were to the troubled, the discouraged and downhearted. “Blessed are the poor in spirit,” He said, “for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.” 1 Whether you are members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints or among the tens of thousands listening this morning who are not of our faith, I speak to those who are facing personal trials and family struggles, those who endure conflicts fought in the lonely foxholes of the heart, those trying to hold back floodwaters of despair that sometimes wash over us like a tsunami of the soul. I wish to speak particularly to you who feel your lives are broken, seemingly beyond repair.
To all such I offer the surest and sweetest remedy that I know. It is found in the clarion call the Savior of the world Himself gave. He said it in the beginning of His ministry, and He said it in the end. He said it to believers, and He said it to those who were not so sure. He said to everyone, whatever their personal problems might be:
“Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.
“Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls.” 2
In this promise, that introductory phrase, “come unto me,” is crucial. It is the key to the peace and rest we seek. Indeed, when the resurrected Savior gave His sermon at the temple to the Nephites in the New World, He began, “Blessed are the poor in spirit who come unto me, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.” 3
When Andrew and John first heard Christ speak, they were so moved they followed Him as He walked away from the crowd. Sensing He was being pursued, Jesus turned and asked the two men, “What seek ye?” They answered, “Where dwellest thou?” And Christ said, “Come and see.” The next day He found another disciple, Philip, and said to him, “Follow me.” 4 Just a short time later He formally called Peter and others of the new Apostles with the same spirit of invitation. Come, “follow me,” 5 He said.
It seems clear that the essence of our duty and the fundamental requirement of our mortal life is captured in these brief phrases from any number of scenes in the Savior’s mortal ministry. He is saying to us, “Trust me, learn of me, do what I do. Then, when you walk where I am going,” He says, “we can talk about where you are going, and the problems you face and the troubles you have. If you will follow me, I will lead you out of darkness,” He promises. “I will give you answers to your prayers. I will give you rest to your souls.”
My beloved friends, I know of no other way for us to succeed or to be safe amid life’s many pitfalls and problems. I know of no other way for us to carry our burdens or find what Jacob in the Book of Mormon called “that happiness which is prepared for the saints.” 6
So how does one “come unto Christ” in response to this constant invitation? The scriptures give scores of examples and avenues. You are well acquainted with the most basic ones. The easiest and the earliest comes simply with the desire of our heart, the most basic form of faith that we know. “If ye can no more than desire to believe,” Alma says, exercising just “a particle of faith,” giving even a small place for the promises of God to find a home—that is enough to begin. 7 Just believing, just having a “molecule” of faith—simply hoping for things which are not yet seen in our lives, but which are nevertheless truly there to be bestowed 8—that simple step, when focused on the Lord Jesus Christ, has ever been and always will be the first principle of His eternal gospel, the first step out of despair.
Second, we must change anything we can change that may be part of the problem. In short we must repent, perhaps the most hopeful and encouraging word in the Christian vocabulary. We thank our Father in Heaven we are allowed to change, we thank Jesus we can change, and ultimately we do so only with Their divine assistance. Certainly not everything we struggle with is a result of our actions. Often it is the result of the actions of others or just the mortal events of life. But anything we can change we should change, and we must forgive the rest. In this way our access to the Savior’s Atonement becomes as unimpeded as we, with our imperfections, can make it. He will take it from there.
Third, in as many ways as possible we try to take upon us His identity, and we begin by taking upon us His name. That name is formally bestowed by covenant in the saving ordinances of the gospel. These start with baptism and conclude with temple covenants, with many others, such as partaking of the sacrament, laced throughout our lives as additional blessings and reminders. Teaching the people of his day the message we give this morning, Nephi said: “Follow the Son, with full purpose of heart, … with real intent, … take upon you the name of Christ. … Do the things which I have told you I have seen that your Lord and your Redeemer [will] do.” 9
Following these most basic teachings, a splendor of connections to Christ opens up to us in multitudinous ways: prayer and fasting and meditation upon His purposes, savoring the scriptures, giving service to others, “succor[ing] the weak, lift[ing] up the hands which hang down, … strengthen[ing] the feeble knees.” 10 Above all else, loving with “the pure love of Christ,” that gift that “never faileth,” that gift that “beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, [and] endureth all things.” 11 Soon, with that kind of love, we realize our days hold scores of thoroughfares leading to the Master and that every time we reach out, however feebly, for Him, we discover He has been anxiously trying to reach us. So we step, we strive, we seek, and we never yield. 12
My desire today is for all of us—not just those who are “poor in spirit” but all of us—to have more straightforward personal experience with the Savior’s example. Sometimes we seek heaven too obliquely, focusing on programs or history or the experience of others. Those are important but not as important as personal experience, true discipleship, and the strength that comes from experiencing firsthand the majesty of His touch.
Are you battling a demon of addiction—tobacco or drugs or gambling, or the pernicious contemporary plague of pornography? Is your marriage in trouble or your child in danger? Are you confused with gender identity or searching for self-esteem? Do you—or someone you love—face disease or depression or death? Whatever other steps you may need to take to resolve these concerns, come first to the gospel of Jesus Christ. Trust in heaven’s promises. In that regard Alma’s testimony is my testimony: “I do know,” he says, “that whosoever shall put their trust in God shall be supported in their trials, and their troubles, and their afflictions.” 13
This reliance upon the merciful nature of God is at the very center of the gospel Christ taught. I testify that the Savior’s Atonement lifts from us not only the burden of our sins but also the burden of our disappointments and sorrows, our heartaches and our despair. 14 From the beginning, trust in such help was to give us both a reason and a way to improve, an incentive to lay down our burdens and take up our salvation. There can and will be plenty of difficulties in life. Nevertheless, the soul that comes unto Christ, who knows His voice and strives to do as He did, finds a strength, as the hymn says, “beyond [his] own.” 15 The Savior reminds us that He has “graven [us] upon the palms of [His] hands.” 16 Considering the incomprehensible cost of the Crucifixion and Atonement, I promise you He is not going to turn His back on us now. When He says to the poor in spirit, “Come unto me,” He means He knows the way out and He knows the way up. He knows it because He has walked it. He knows the way because He is the way.
Brothers and sisters, whatever your distress, please don’t give up and please don’t yield to fear. I have always been touched that as his son was departing for his mission to England, Brother Bryant S. Hinckley gave young Gordon a farewell embrace and then slipped him a handwritten note with just five words taken from the fifth chapter of Mark: “Be not afraid, only believe.” 17 I think also of that night when Christ rushed to the aid of His frightened disciples, walking as He did on the water to get to them, calling out, “It is I; be not afraid.” Peter exclaimed, “Lord, if it be thou, bid me come unto thee on the water.” Christ’s answer to him was as it always is every time: “Come,” He said. Instantly, as was his nature, Peter sprang over the vessel’s side and into the troubled waters. While his eyes were fixed upon the Lord, the wind could toss his hair and the spray could drench his robes, but all was well—he was coming to Christ. It was only when his faith wavered and fear took control, only when he removed his glance from the Master to look at the furious waves and the ominous black gulf beneath, only then did he begin to sink into the sea. In newer terror he cried out, “Lord, save me.”
Undoubtedly with some sadness, the Master over every problem and fear, He who is the solution to every discouragement and disappointment, stretched out His hand and grasped the drowning disciple with the gentle rebuke, “O thou of little faith, wherefore didst thou doubt?” 18
If you are lonely, please know you can find comfort. If you are discouraged, please know you can find hope. If you are poor in spirit, please know you can be strengthened. If you feel you are broken, please know you can be mended.
In Nazareth, the narrow road,
That tires the feet and steals the breath,
Passes the place where once abode
The Carpenter of Nazareth.
And up and down the dusty way
The village folk would often wend;
And on the bench, beside Him, lay
Their broken things for Him to mend.
The maiden with the doll she broke,
The woman with the broken chair,
The man with broken plough, or yoke,
Said, “Can you mend it, Carpenter?”
And each received the thing he sought,
In yoke, or plough, or chair, or doll;
The broken thing which each had brought
Returned again a perfect whole.
So, up the hill the long years through,
With heavy step and wistful eye,
The burdened souls their way pursue,
Uttering each the plaintive cry:
“O Carpenter of Nazareth,
This heart, that’s broken past repair,
This life, that’s shattered nigh to death,
Oh, can You mend them, Carpenter?”
And by His kind and ready hand,
His own sweet life is woven through
Our broken lives, until they stand
A New Creation—“all things new.”
“The shattered [substance] of [the] heart,
Desire, ambition, hope, and faith,
Mould Thou into the perfect part,
O, Carpenter of Nazareth!” 19
May we all, especially the poor in spirit, come unto Him and be made whole, I pray, in the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth, amen."
-Jeffrey R. Holland, General Conference May 2006
To all such I offer the surest and sweetest remedy that I know. It is found in the clarion call the Savior of the world Himself gave. He said it in the beginning of His ministry, and He said it in the end. He said it to believers, and He said it to those who were not so sure. He said to everyone, whatever their personal problems might be:
“Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.
“Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls.” 2
In this promise, that introductory phrase, “come unto me,” is crucial. It is the key to the peace and rest we seek. Indeed, when the resurrected Savior gave His sermon at the temple to the Nephites in the New World, He began, “Blessed are the poor in spirit who come unto me, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.” 3
When Andrew and John first heard Christ speak, they were so moved they followed Him as He walked away from the crowd. Sensing He was being pursued, Jesus turned and asked the two men, “What seek ye?” They answered, “Where dwellest thou?” And Christ said, “Come and see.” The next day He found another disciple, Philip, and said to him, “Follow me.” 4 Just a short time later He formally called Peter and others of the new Apostles with the same spirit of invitation. Come, “follow me,” 5 He said.
It seems clear that the essence of our duty and the fundamental requirement of our mortal life is captured in these brief phrases from any number of scenes in the Savior’s mortal ministry. He is saying to us, “Trust me, learn of me, do what I do. Then, when you walk where I am going,” He says, “we can talk about where you are going, and the problems you face and the troubles you have. If you will follow me, I will lead you out of darkness,” He promises. “I will give you answers to your prayers. I will give you rest to your souls.”
My beloved friends, I know of no other way for us to succeed or to be safe amid life’s many pitfalls and problems. I know of no other way for us to carry our burdens or find what Jacob in the Book of Mormon called “that happiness which is prepared for the saints.” 6
So how does one “come unto Christ” in response to this constant invitation? The scriptures give scores of examples and avenues. You are well acquainted with the most basic ones. The easiest and the earliest comes simply with the desire of our heart, the most basic form of faith that we know. “If ye can no more than desire to believe,” Alma says, exercising just “a particle of faith,” giving even a small place for the promises of God to find a home—that is enough to begin. 7 Just believing, just having a “molecule” of faith—simply hoping for things which are not yet seen in our lives, but which are nevertheless truly there to be bestowed 8—that simple step, when focused on the Lord Jesus Christ, has ever been and always will be the first principle of His eternal gospel, the first step out of despair.
Second, we must change anything we can change that may be part of the problem. In short we must repent, perhaps the most hopeful and encouraging word in the Christian vocabulary. We thank our Father in Heaven we are allowed to change, we thank Jesus we can change, and ultimately we do so only with Their divine assistance. Certainly not everything we struggle with is a result of our actions. Often it is the result of the actions of others or just the mortal events of life. But anything we can change we should change, and we must forgive the rest. In this way our access to the Savior’s Atonement becomes as unimpeded as we, with our imperfections, can make it. He will take it from there.
Third, in as many ways as possible we try to take upon us His identity, and we begin by taking upon us His name. That name is formally bestowed by covenant in the saving ordinances of the gospel. These start with baptism and conclude with temple covenants, with many others, such as partaking of the sacrament, laced throughout our lives as additional blessings and reminders. Teaching the people of his day the message we give this morning, Nephi said: “Follow the Son, with full purpose of heart, … with real intent, … take upon you the name of Christ. … Do the things which I have told you I have seen that your Lord and your Redeemer [will] do.” 9
Following these most basic teachings, a splendor of connections to Christ opens up to us in multitudinous ways: prayer and fasting and meditation upon His purposes, savoring the scriptures, giving service to others, “succor[ing] the weak, lift[ing] up the hands which hang down, … strengthen[ing] the feeble knees.” 10 Above all else, loving with “the pure love of Christ,” that gift that “never faileth,” that gift that “beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, [and] endureth all things.” 11 Soon, with that kind of love, we realize our days hold scores of thoroughfares leading to the Master and that every time we reach out, however feebly, for Him, we discover He has been anxiously trying to reach us. So we step, we strive, we seek, and we never yield. 12
My desire today is for all of us—not just those who are “poor in spirit” but all of us—to have more straightforward personal experience with the Savior’s example. Sometimes we seek heaven too obliquely, focusing on programs or history or the experience of others. Those are important but not as important as personal experience, true discipleship, and the strength that comes from experiencing firsthand the majesty of His touch.
Are you battling a demon of addiction—tobacco or drugs or gambling, or the pernicious contemporary plague of pornography? Is your marriage in trouble or your child in danger? Are you confused with gender identity or searching for self-esteem? Do you—or someone you love—face disease or depression or death? Whatever other steps you may need to take to resolve these concerns, come first to the gospel of Jesus Christ. Trust in heaven’s promises. In that regard Alma’s testimony is my testimony: “I do know,” he says, “that whosoever shall put their trust in God shall be supported in their trials, and their troubles, and their afflictions.” 13
This reliance upon the merciful nature of God is at the very center of the gospel Christ taught. I testify that the Savior’s Atonement lifts from us not only the burden of our sins but also the burden of our disappointments and sorrows, our heartaches and our despair. 14 From the beginning, trust in such help was to give us both a reason and a way to improve, an incentive to lay down our burdens and take up our salvation. There can and will be plenty of difficulties in life. Nevertheless, the soul that comes unto Christ, who knows His voice and strives to do as He did, finds a strength, as the hymn says, “beyond [his] own.” 15 The Savior reminds us that He has “graven [us] upon the palms of [His] hands.” 16 Considering the incomprehensible cost of the Crucifixion and Atonement, I promise you He is not going to turn His back on us now. When He says to the poor in spirit, “Come unto me,” He means He knows the way out and He knows the way up. He knows it because He has walked it. He knows the way because He is the way.
Brothers and sisters, whatever your distress, please don’t give up and please don’t yield to fear. I have always been touched that as his son was departing for his mission to England, Brother Bryant S. Hinckley gave young Gordon a farewell embrace and then slipped him a handwritten note with just five words taken from the fifth chapter of Mark: “Be not afraid, only believe.” 17 I think also of that night when Christ rushed to the aid of His frightened disciples, walking as He did on the water to get to them, calling out, “It is I; be not afraid.” Peter exclaimed, “Lord, if it be thou, bid me come unto thee on the water.” Christ’s answer to him was as it always is every time: “Come,” He said. Instantly, as was his nature, Peter sprang over the vessel’s side and into the troubled waters. While his eyes were fixed upon the Lord, the wind could toss his hair and the spray could drench his robes, but all was well—he was coming to Christ. It was only when his faith wavered and fear took control, only when he removed his glance from the Master to look at the furious waves and the ominous black gulf beneath, only then did he begin to sink into the sea. In newer terror he cried out, “Lord, save me.”
Undoubtedly with some sadness, the Master over every problem and fear, He who is the solution to every discouragement and disappointment, stretched out His hand and grasped the drowning disciple with the gentle rebuke, “O thou of little faith, wherefore didst thou doubt?” 18
If you are lonely, please know you can find comfort. If you are discouraged, please know you can find hope. If you are poor in spirit, please know you can be strengthened. If you feel you are broken, please know you can be mended.
In Nazareth, the narrow road,
That tires the feet and steals the breath,
Passes the place where once abode
The Carpenter of Nazareth.
And up and down the dusty way
The village folk would often wend;
And on the bench, beside Him, lay
Their broken things for Him to mend.
The maiden with the doll she broke,
The woman with the broken chair,
The man with broken plough, or yoke,
Said, “Can you mend it, Carpenter?”
And each received the thing he sought,
In yoke, or plough, or chair, or doll;
The broken thing which each had brought
Returned again a perfect whole.
So, up the hill the long years through,
With heavy step and wistful eye,
The burdened souls their way pursue,
Uttering each the plaintive cry:
“O Carpenter of Nazareth,
This heart, that’s broken past repair,
This life, that’s shattered nigh to death,
Oh, can You mend them, Carpenter?”
And by His kind and ready hand,
His own sweet life is woven through
Our broken lives, until they stand
A New Creation—“all things new.”
“The shattered [substance] of [the] heart,
Desire, ambition, hope, and faith,
Mould Thou into the perfect part,
O, Carpenter of Nazareth!” 19
May we all, especially the poor in spirit, come unto Him and be made whole, I pray, in the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth, amen."
-Jeffrey R. Holland, General Conference May 2006
5.23.2010
4.29.2010
"Be close enough to feel You now. There have been moments when I could not face Goliath on my own, and how I could I forget we marched around our share of Jerichos...But tonight my heart is heavy and I cannot keep from whispering this prayer: Are You there?"
-Small Enough, Mindy Gledhill
-Small Enough, Mindy Gledhill
"Just want to know you're going to hold me if I start to cry."
4.16.2010
Dear Viva la Vida
Here's a bit of my life!
I love this woman! She is my soul sister and the kindest person I know. May I be more like her! May her potato crop be blessed one hundredfold!
Alastair + Andrew's girlfriend + holding hands = paparazzi
Good news!
I finished my challenge!
But you know what I learned more than anything? God is the One Who changes you. Not a doubt in my mind. One example! I am so bad at going to bed early. However! For one whole month, I went to bed earlier and earlier! And how? My mindset was changed. My views changed, and my actions followed. Before, I strained myself so hard to change and every time I couldn't do it I would beat myself up. But He can change me if I'm willing. I don't want this to be a trite phrase that I've heard so often that I forget how true it is. You know, there are some phrases that to me have been said so much that they lose their potency. Sadly, they are some of the most important things I need to know: "You are a daughter of God." Other things. Man, Satan really can distract us, huh?
You know, here goes: I want to celebrate myself! It has been too long. Too often have I shoved down the urge to see the good in me, and to only see the bad. Bad Dobby! My thoughts are a bit disheveled, but I don't really need to explain.
Can I just say one more thing? Sometimes I wish I could see behind the curtain of life to where God is directing my life, to be able to see "Oh, I wasn't progressing then because of this", "Oh, I was prompted here for this reason." I'm hoping I'll be able to see how it fits together when I cross the veil.
Another thing! I'm just going to let it all flow, not edit, re-edit, cross-reference, rinse, repeat. Darn it, now I forgot what I was going to say. Oh! Never mind. I won't say that, it'll just get me all riled up again. haha. Oh yeah! Sometimes...I try WAY too hard. You know who told me that? My tennis coach! When she told me that I was completely surprised. I thought I wasn't trying hard enough! Perfectionist syndrome. And it doesn't just apply to tennis! It applies to LIFE. Okay, I'm going to live at home for the rest of my life! No. Not what that means. WHAT it means is that I need to chill out! Like with snowboarding. I had the best time ever, because I finally figured out that I needed to be more loose! I fell a lot more often, but it hurt a lot less! Same thing in life. Phew. I guess it's better to try too hard than to not try at all...extremes are not good at all, really. All things in moderation...if that statement is true, then wouldn't it really be SOME things in moderation? haha
Dear Viva la Vida,
It's official. My love for you is more than infatuation. Our romance has been going on for two years, and I haven't gotten sick of you! "If that ain't love then I don't know what love is." haha
Man. Ahh! Man. I think we were created in a way that we already have everything we need to succeed. Which is why I need to not try so hard! That does not mean I should stop giving my best, just realize that my strengths are inherent from God, natural, and trying to force them makes them, well, more forced. We are meant to have joy in life! So often I feel that I have to paste a smile on. The thing is, I know how to smile! I do it! It feels so good to not restrain myself for once. In a way it's scary, because so often I feel we are to bridle all our passions. I can be uptight. Not an awesome trait to have, but it keeps me safe! I'm just trying to figure things out, get away from conceptions people have of, start fresh. Mmm, that sounds so delicious. Let's start something new! I want to be myself! Mmm, remembering sophomore year, when things were so fresh. That was incredible. I'm ready for a new beginning. So ready. :)
I finished my challenge!
FACT: Smiling makes you happier! I had about 25 cheese-it moments in those two weeks!
But you know what I learned more than anything? God is the One Who changes you. Not a doubt in my mind. One example! I am so bad at going to bed early. However! For one whole month, I went to bed earlier and earlier! And how? My mindset was changed. My views changed, and my actions followed. Before, I strained myself so hard to change and every time I couldn't do it I would beat myself up. But He can change me if I'm willing. I don't want this to be a trite phrase that I've heard so often that I forget how true it is. You know, there are some phrases that to me have been said so much that they lose their potency. Sadly, they are some of the most important things I need to know: "You are a daughter of God." Other things. Man, Satan really can distract us, huh?
You know, here goes: I want to celebrate myself! It has been too long. Too often have I shoved down the urge to see the good in me, and to only see the bad. Bad Dobby! My thoughts are a bit disheveled, but I don't really need to explain.
Can I just say one more thing? Sometimes I wish I could see behind the curtain of life to where God is directing my life, to be able to see "Oh, I wasn't progressing then because of this", "Oh, I was prompted here for this reason." I'm hoping I'll be able to see how it fits together when I cross the veil.
Another thing! I'm just going to let it all flow, not edit, re-edit, cross-reference, rinse, repeat. Darn it, now I forgot what I was going to say. Oh! Never mind. I won't say that, it'll just get me all riled up again. haha. Oh yeah! Sometimes...I try WAY too hard. You know who told me that? My tennis coach! When she told me that I was completely surprised. I thought I wasn't trying hard enough! Perfectionist syndrome. And it doesn't just apply to tennis! It applies to LIFE. Okay, I'm going to live at home for the rest of my life! No. Not what that means. WHAT it means is that I need to chill out! Like with snowboarding. I had the best time ever, because I finally figured out that I needed to be more loose! I fell a lot more often, but it hurt a lot less! Same thing in life. Phew. I guess it's better to try too hard than to not try at all...extremes are not good at all, really. All things in moderation...if that statement is true, then wouldn't it really be SOME things in moderation? haha
Dear Viva la Vida,
It's official. My love for you is more than infatuation. Our romance has been going on for two years, and I haven't gotten sick of you! "If that ain't love then I don't know what love is." haha
Man. Ahh! Man. I think we were created in a way that we already have everything we need to succeed. Which is why I need to not try so hard! That does not mean I should stop giving my best, just realize that my strengths are inherent from God, natural, and trying to force them makes them, well, more forced. We are meant to have joy in life! So often I feel that I have to paste a smile on. The thing is, I know how to smile! I do it! It feels so good to not restrain myself for once. In a way it's scary, because so often I feel we are to bridle all our passions. I can be uptight. Not an awesome trait to have, but it keeps me safe! I'm just trying to figure things out, get away from conceptions people have of, start fresh. Mmm, that sounds so delicious. Let's start something new! I want to be myself! Mmm, remembering sophomore year, when things were so fresh. That was incredible. I'm ready for a new beginning. So ready. :)
I am grateful for a seminary building so close to school, a place I can go for parental release when I don't have a car and Cole Bear looks bored. :) A good use of time, I dare say!
By the way, congratulations to our new SBOs! Lead us on to victory!
By the way, congratulations to our new SBOs! Lead us on to victory!
3.16.2010
3.07.2010
Garr! Tha Attitude o' Gratitude
Oh jeepers. Things are crazy right now! So. I got asked to prom by this wizard a few weeks ago! (I am so grateful. I feel for my sistas out there who aren't going - it hurts, I know.) Later, he called me and said his grades weren't good and his dad most likely wouldn't let him go to the dance. Bless him for telling me early instead of the night before. I was pretty sad! Well, my friend Cap'n Peach Fuzz* and I call each other most nights to talk about Preach My Gospel together and tonight was no different. He called a few minutes after I found out and I told him the news.
Says he: "Do you want to go?"
"Yeah!"
"With me?"
"Okay, alright!"
haha. And so we're going to prom together! And I am stoked as a wildfire. :)
(*Name has been changed to protect identity.)
In other news! I need to let off some steam before this little teapot explodes. Here goes! The capital letters are coming out, folks!
In other news! I think I found a possible future career. :) I am going into photography at BYU-I this fall...and that sounds so crazy. It seems like just yesterday I was a small infant child! haha. I'm not so sure about photography as a career. Shorely it would be mom-friendly, but on terms of passion, it doesn't put the thumb on the spot...or however that phrase goes. It came to me tonight that maybe I could interview older people and put their life stories together into books for their children! I am still into photography, you see. And I love listening to old people's stories just as much as they love telling them! So that could combine passion and necessity. I am also considering a career that has to do with the church, like a seminary teacher or something with genealogy. Also, after going to the hunger banquet at BYU, I have thought about going into humanitarian aid. Building a school in Africa or helping to teach agriculture and economic techniques in a third-world country would be so fulfilling! However...not very mom-friendly. haha. I learned some really cool things from that hunger fest though. Ready for a cool quote?
Here goes:
"We are more similiar than we are different...We differ not in our worth, but in our circumstances."
So true! The speaker there said we have a responsibility to help others who were not "born in the right zip code". And it's true! I just imagined what an impact that room of 300+ could do if we were all sent out to different countries for just one month. The speaker also talked about
Man, I had a lot to get out there!
Oh! And here are some random things I'm grateful for:
Lastly, I want to say how incredibly grateful I am to have
Says he: "Do you want to go?"
"Yeah!"
"With me?"
"Okay, alright!"
haha. And so we're going to prom together! And I am stoked as a wildfire. :)
(*Name has been changed to protect identity.)
In other news! I need to let off some steam before this little teapot explodes. Here goes! The capital letters are coming out, folks!
I AM DONE WITH SCHOOL!Okay. Not really. But at this point I wish I was. I am a little frustrated with how spread out I am. Ever seen that Mormonad with the guy spread out on a piece of toast? Graphic. haha. Just kidding. That's just kind of how I feel. The only thing is, I'm not even involved in a million things! I'm not running a non-profit organization and baking two dozen cupcakes and accompanying a baker's dozen of soloists like some of my friends...ahem. haha. Here's the thing: I'm a perfectionist. I'm trying to be better about doing things even if they're not perfect. And I am becoming better at not listening to the voices that say I'm not good enough, through God's help. Bless Him. :)
In other news! I think I found a possible future career. :) I am going into photography at BYU-I this fall...and that sounds so crazy. It seems like just yesterday I was a small infant child! haha. I'm not so sure about photography as a career. Shorely it would be mom-friendly, but on terms of passion, it doesn't put the thumb on the spot...or however that phrase goes. It came to me tonight that maybe I could interview older people and put their life stories together into books for their children! I am still into photography, you see. And I love listening to old people's stories just as much as they love telling them! So that could combine passion and necessity. I am also considering a career that has to do with the church, like a seminary teacher or something with genealogy. Also, after going to the hunger banquet at BYU, I have thought about going into humanitarian aid. Building a school in Africa or helping to teach agriculture and economic techniques in a third-world country would be so fulfilling! However...not very mom-friendly. haha. I learned some really cool things from that hunger fest though. Ready for a cool quote?
Here goes:
"We are more similiar than we are different...We differ not in our worth, but in our circumstances."
So true! The speaker there said we have a responsibility to help others who were not "born in the right zip code". And it's true! I just imagined what an impact that room of 300+ could do if we were all sent out to different countries for just one month. The speaker also talked about
human dignity.People are able! We are able to lift ourselves out of poverty, if given the tools and the opportunities! No matter our circumstances, we all deserve respect. I highly recommend reading Banker to the Poor by Muhammad Yunus. It's about a man who breaks the slavery of women caught in a cycle of borrowing money from loan sharks who keep them in debt. Yunus saw this cycle of poverty, and by lending money to those women, enough to let them sell their materials themselves and become liberated, he helped them. He lended about 40 cents to each woman - a tiny amount! That 40 cents
changed their entire lives.It's called microlending, and where it's been practiced in Bangledesh, it's had a profound effect on the people. They have gained freedom from poverty. Yunus has started Grameen Bank, and unlike other banks, he has no interest rates and he only lends to the poor (mostly to women, because they spend their money on their families). The bank has a 99 percent return rate from their lendings. I think it's incredible! I would love to help out with something like that.
Man, I had a lot to get out there!
Oh! And here are some random things I'm grateful for:
- eyebrows - Without them, how would I show emotion? How would I keep the shampoo out of my eyes?
- living in Utah - My life would be so different! We are so blessed to have such incredible opportunities and to have temples dot the land about us. So grateful. :)
- good music - Always been grateful, but I am becoming more and more grateful as faddish music becomes more and more unoriginal. You know those songs that are just incredible? Love them to death. haha
- thumbs - Have you ever tried to open a door without your thumbs? 'Nuff said.
- myself - Where would I be without me? haha. Just kidding. I just have learned to love myself lately and I am so much happier! Glad I can be my own best friend, not my biggest critic. Where would I be without my Savior, the One who blessed me with the power to turn my weaknesses into strengths?
Lastly, I want to say how incredibly grateful I am to have
the gospel.In its purest sense - past the magnet boards, green Jell-o, and polka dot bows, precious as they are - it is the joy that comes from living the truth. The spirit of the Oquirrh Mountain open house, the Christlike love of President Hinckley, the sunsets from Frog Rock, the incredibly stirring music of Jenny Oaks Baker - these to me symbolize the gospel. It is a living thing, so powerful, so simple, indiscriminate of anyone - it is beautiful, stirring. I haven't experienced it all, but I am enthralled by it. It touches my very core, makes it ache with goodness, and I am never the same. I don't know how to explain it. I invite you to partake of it if you don't have it, my friends. You have nothing to lose, and it is my greatest blessing. I would trade it for nothing. It answers my every question. It makes so much sense! I could not imagine how I would feel if I didn't know why we're here, how our Father feels about us, and where we're going after this day of life. It encompasses my entire life and always gives me more than I deserve. I am eternally grateful!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)