My Savior

He has carried me when I couldn't go a step further. I've felt His comfort, I've felt His presence. He has given me every blessing I have in my life! A thought came to me a while ago that Christ is the most perfect being to ever walk on earth, which means He could rebuke me because I'm not, but because He is perfect, He doesn't. If the gospel were personified, it would be Christ - He is the happiest, most kind, most loving person I have ever known, even though I can't remember Him completely.

He is real - I've felt His presence before. He brings the greatest peace in the world, a peace I long for and pine over every day - the same spirit I feel when I watch the Forgotten Carols, the feeling I had at the Oquirrh Mountain temple open house, the joy of Temple Square - He is familiar. He's come through for me every single time, and any success I've had is because of what He gave up for me. He lived for me, He died for me, and if I were the only one to be saved through the Atonement (thank Heavens it's not that way), He would still do it, because He loves me so so much - an unconditional love, so that even when I mess up or I'm slothful or a plethora of other mistakes I make every single day, He still loves me, and He loves me deeper because He knows exactly how it feels to go through what I have - because He has.

Sometimes I believe I'm going to have to plead my case when I get to the Judgment Bar, that I will have forgotten to repent for one thing that will keep me out of the celestial kingdom, but that's not how it's going to be. Because He went through my hardest times, He knows why I feel the way I do sometimes. He will be the One pleading my case and He will be worthy to plead it because He is without sin. He was not forced into the Atonement. He chose to use His agency to take upon Himself the sins of the world so we could live with our Father again. That is a love indescribable, impossible to even comprehend!

I hope when I see Him again I'll recognize Him and He will recognize me because His light will shine through my eyes and His countenance will show in my face. I hope when others see me, they will really see Him. When I see Him I'm sure I will just start sobbing because He loves me so much. I will do everything within my power to feel worthy to give Him a hug! He's my Big Brother, my Best Friend. I can't remember what He looks like, but I do know Who He is, because I see Him every day. I see Christ in you, my brothers and sisters; in your beauty of creativity, in your confidence, your kindness, your happiness. Anything that you let shine is a mirror of my Savior to me.

I think when he comes again He will be giving service. The other day I saw such an incredible sunset that thinking about it now takes my breath away. It could have been the Second Coming, I swear! Even just imagining that it could be got me so excited. I am obsessed with clouds. I read in the Bible Dictionary that Christ will come in a cloud which makes me think He took me aside before I came to earth and said something like "Now keep an eye on the clouds for Me; that's how I'm coming!"

Sometimes Christ seems far away to me, but He's closer than I realize, disguised as a friend giving me a hug when I need it most or my mum giving me comfort or even as a talking lion from the Chronicles of Narnia! The Atonement works before Judgment Day; it's an everyday thing. I still don't understand it completely, but my seminary teacher clarified it more for me - the Atonement is not the grief or the natural consequences we feel from sin, it is the peace we feel when Christ has changed us and smoothed out our rough edges. Any changes I've made in my life have come from Christ - through Him I can pray to my Father for help to cast off the natural man, and the help my Father sends is Christ.

I love my Savior so much. He has given me the opportunity for eternal life and repaid a debt I could never repay. I am forever in His debt, but instead of treating me like a servant, He sees the queen in me that I sometimes can't see in myself. He helps me see that I am a goddess-in-training! He is real. I have felt His presence before. He will come again. He is your best friend too, and if you don't know it, I challenge you to pray to feel His love for you. I promise that you will feel it. These things are true and I say them in the name of my Savior, my Big Brother, King of Kings, Prince of Peace, the Son of God, Jesus Christ. Amen.

Angel Face

Mmm. :) Here's my list:
Owl City
The Script
Coldplay
Kalai

So, you know how the Script is famous now? Just for the record, I heard them a year before their music even hopped the pond to the States. haha. One day in England I heard "The Man Who Can't Be Moved" but it didn't exist when I looked for it! But oh man, I love them! What is it about those singers in my homeland? They're just so dang good! haha. Mmm. Some bands make me love music so much!

I just had a thought. Some people are really picky with their food. Some people are really picky with their music. I'm the latter. haha. As long as the food is edible and passes the Word of Wisdom test, I'll eat it! Here's my theory. If the food is gross, after a while I won't have to deal with it! But! If the music is gross - man, it is stuck in my mind forever. Which is why I am so dang picky. It gets tough when I'm around people with different standards and I have to stick up for myself, because it makes me wonder if I'm the only one. I had to do it in class once and ended up transferring out because I knew the situation wasn't going to change. I'm trying to make it out of this life as innocent as possible! I really do not see the appeal in the gross media out there. I know what a huge impact music can have on me, which is why I'm so picky. So there. Eat your peas. haha

In other news!

Happy Christmas!

I'm wondering if I'm the only one out there who feels like it isn't even Christmas. What a Scrooge! How dare I. haha. And I'm wondering why I feel this way. Can it just be because the weather didn't get the memo? Is it because Santa turned into my dad? It's the weirdest thing!

"I celebrate Christmas because it's His birthday." -Christmas Song, Owl City

In other other news, I love memories so much. Yesterday, watching a sunset that looked like it could be the Second Coming, I had a thought. What if you could travel to incredible memories? haha. I'm pretty sure I would never get anything done though, because I would just keep going back! Sometimes I wonder if I'm recording things well enough. When I look back through my journals, will I even remember what I was talking about? Will "POTATOES!" even make sense to me when I'm 36? Am I taking enough pictures? Taking pictures of the right things? Better safe than sorry, I say. I heard once that we forget 80 percent of the things that happen in a day!

Pixilies!

Mmm. I luhh

creativity.

haha. Who am I kidding, I just steal everyone else's ideas and make it into a huge stew. But dang, does it taste good! haha

Some of my latest pieces...ahaha. Picnik is awesome!

Random Always

Where do I begin? I've realized that I have been super busy lately. Which is kind of cool? When I look after myself...aka homework and sleep and Personal Progress and running program and winter tennis and piano practice every day and scripture study and etc. Wow. Enough of this guilt, hmm?

One of my ward family sent me an anonymous letter the other week with kind words. :) They said that Satan is the father of ALL lies; the lies we tell ourselves - that we're not doing well enough, God doesn't accept our offerings, we don't deserve love, we aren't pretty or smart - all lies. I bet before we came down to earth God put His arm around our shoulder and as we looked down on the world He said something like "Do you see them? They're angels of the devil, and they're whispering lies to my other children. My kids can't see them, and so sometimes they don't know who's telling them what they hear, and they believe it. Sometimes the world will put up such deceptions that it gets really hard to believe something they can't see or remember. But you know, they can feel it. It feels right to remember. I love my kids, and to see them not know of what incredible infinite worth they are hurts me. Remember, when you get down there, WHO YOU ARE. Others will try to tell you otherwise, but you know something? I can whisper to you too. You'll forget who you are, just like Christ forgot when He was born, but just ask me to remind you - I will. All you have to do is decide who you'll believe, and when I tell you the truth, doubt not, fear not, only believe."

I guess what I was going to say next would've been ironic considering what I just wrote. I'm going to switch things around. For me, I have this false sense of humility - "Say you're not worth a lot or you'll be prideful," crosses my mind. Now, would my Father, the One Who loves me more than I could ever understand (even though I'm trying to understand), tell me that? No. Man, Satan disguises his lies well. Thank Heavens (literally) for the Holy Ghost. :)

Mmm. Alright, this is going to be sweet! A positive attitude is as contagious as swine flu! SPEAKING of donating blood...I couldn't. Apparently I have mad cow disease. Haha, just joking. But, I couldn't donate today because I've lived in England. I was almost a top-notch donorsaraus! :)

"Let no one leave your presence without being better and happier." -Mother Teresa

P.S. I Love You: I'm going to try out this new-age picture show-and-tell!

P.P.S. I love my family! I want to be with them more, doing fun stuff. :)