(enade)

My beautiful corsage!
To old to ride, eh?

We have a connection, there is no doubt about it.

The infamous boutonniere...

Garr! Tha Attitude o' Gratitude

Oh jeepers. Things are crazy right now! So. I got asked to prom by this wizard a few weeks ago! (I am so grateful. I feel for my sistas out there who aren't going - it hurts, I know.) Later, he called me and said his grades weren't good and his dad most likely wouldn't let him go to the dance. Bless him for telling me early instead of the night before. I was pretty sad! Well, my friend Cap'n Peach Fuzz* and I call each other most nights to talk about Preach My Gospel together and tonight was no different. He called a few minutes after I found out and I told him the news.

Says he: "Do you want to go?"
"Yeah!"
"With me?"
"Okay, alright!"

haha. And so we're going to prom together! And I am stoked as a wildfire. :)

(*Name has been changed to protect identity.)

In other news! I need to let off some steam before this little teapot explodes. Here goes! The capital letters are coming out, folks!

I AM DONE WITH SCHOOL!

Okay. Not really. But at this point I wish I was. I am a little frustrated with how spread out I am. Ever seen that Mormonad with the guy spread out on a piece of toast? Graphic. haha. Just kidding. That's just kind of how I feel. The only thing is, I'm not even involved in a million things! I'm not running a non-profit organization and baking two dozen cupcakes and accompanying a baker's dozen of soloists like some of my friends...ahem. haha. Here's the thing: I'm a perfectionist. I'm trying to be better about doing things even if they're not perfect. And I am becoming better at not listening to the voices that say I'm not good enough, through God's help. Bless Him. :)

In other news! I think I found a possible future career. :) I am going into photography at BYU-I this fall...and that sounds so crazy. It seems like just yesterday I was a small infant child! haha. I'm not so sure about photography as a career. Shorely it would be mom-friendly, but on terms of passion, it doesn't put the thumb on the spot...or however that phrase goes. It came to me tonight that maybe I could interview older people and put their life stories together into books for their children! I am still into photography, you see. And I love listening to old people's stories just as much as they love telling them! So that could combine passion and necessity. I am also considering a career that has to do with the church, like a seminary teacher or something with genealogy. Also, after going to the hunger banquet at BYU, I have thought about going into humanitarian aid. Building a school in Africa or helping to teach agriculture and economic techniques in a third-world country would be so fulfilling! However...not very mom-friendly. haha. I learned some really cool things from that hunger fest though. Ready for a cool quote?

Here goes:

"We are more similiar than we are different...We differ not in our worth, but in our circumstances."

So true! The speaker there said we have a responsibility to help others who were not "born in the right zip code". And it's true! I just imagined what an impact that room of 300+ could do if we were all sent out to different countries for just one month. The speaker also talked about

human dignity.

People are able! We are able to lift ourselves out of poverty, if given the tools and the opportunities! No matter our circumstances, we all deserve respect. I highly recommend reading Banker to the Poor by Muhammad Yunus. It's about a man who breaks the slavery of women caught in a cycle of borrowing money from loan sharks who keep them in debt. Yunus saw this cycle of poverty, and by lending money to those women, enough to let them sell their materials themselves and become liberated, he helped them. He lended about 40 cents to each woman - a tiny amount! That 40 cents

changed their entire lives.

It's called microlending, and where it's been practiced in Bangledesh, it's had a profound effect on the people. They have gained freedom from poverty. Yunus has started Grameen Bank, and unlike other banks, he has no interest rates and he only lends to the poor (mostly to women, because they spend their money on their families). The bank has a 99 percent return rate from their lendings. I think it's incredible! I would love to help out with something like that.

Man, I had a lot to get out there!

Oh! And here are some random things I'm grateful for:

• eyebrows - Without them, how would I show emotion? How would I keep the shampoo out of my eyes?
• living in Utah - My life would be so different! We are so blessed to have such incredible opportunities and to have temples dot the land about us. So grateful. :)
• good music - Always been grateful, but I am becoming more and more grateful as faddish music becomes more and more unoriginal. You know those songs that are just incredible? Love them to death. haha
• thumbs - Have you ever tried to open a door without your thumbs? 'Nuff said.
• myself - Where would I be without me? haha. Just kidding. I just have learned to love myself lately and I am so much happier! Glad I can be my own best friend, not my biggest critic. Where would I be without my Savior, the One who blessed me with the power to turn my weaknesses into strengths?

I could go on for years. In fact, I will! Every day. There is so much to be grateful for! I'm grateful for gratitude! haha

Lastly, I want to say how incredibly grateful I am to have

the gospel.

In its purest sense - past the magnet boards, green Jell-o, and polka dot bows, precious as they are - it is the joy that comes from living the truth. The spirit of the Oquirrh Mountain open house, the Christlike love of President Hinckley, the sunsets from Frog Rock, the incredibly stirring music of Jenny Oaks Baker - these to me symbolize the gospel. It is a living thing, so powerful, so simple, indiscriminate of anyone - it is beautiful, stirring. I haven't experienced it all, but I am enthralled by it. It touches my very core, makes it ache with goodness, and I am never the same. I don't know how to explain it. I invite you to partake of it if you don't have it, my friends. You have nothing to lose, and it is my greatest blessing. I would trade it for nothing. It answers my every question. It makes so much sense! I could not imagine how I would feel if I didn't know why we're here, how our Father feels about us, and where we're going after this day of life. It encompasses my entire life and always gives me more than I deserve. I am eternally grateful!

Life Living

Life is beautiful, I've decided. And I think after I fall in love with a boy and get married to him, I'll fall in love with my kids! haha. Happy Valentine's Day!

Off Season

Okay, like seriously? I still miss this summer so much. More than I did before. Will I ever get over it? Maybe not. It was the most spiritual time of my life. Erm. What am I trying to say? One of my friends is just so good at loving every person she sees! I want to be more like her. Lately though, I've been feeling so powerless towards my weaknesses. Kind of like I'm stuck in these habits. Alright, we're trying meekness in affliction here. So, some things can be so different! One of my closest friends has completely changed, it seems, and I don't know how to help him. Do I be his friend? Does he need his space? Do I make his life harder? I know what I should do, but...I still don't do it. It's one of the things I think over every day. Can I just go on a drive to Legacy highway right now, figure things out? Can I just drive back to some of my very most favorite memories right now? Pretty please? I feel so caught up in routine. I don't want to complain. Right now, I'm in a fruitful stage of life, and I'm so grateful for it! However, I've become prideful and because of it, lost some of my self-respect. I feel like I've lost the drive for service, become selfish. I feel more like the natural man right now. I've lost some diligence in areas like piano and running; however, I will never, ever stop reading my scriptures and praying. I feel like I've become too busy for God, too weak to overcome my weaknesses. I'm becoming numb of feeling, happiness is weak and fleeting. I feel like God and my Savior are disappointed in me, and it hurts. Satan tries to tell me that they don't love me because I'm human. What a lie! I feel like I've forgotten my Savior. And let me tell you, it is an unsettling feeling, void of peace. I need help but I don't know how. I need the temple so much right now. Satan keeps pounding away at my armor in the weakest parts of my character, and I need another layer. My confidence has become worldly, based on worldly things. God has blessed me and I have grown prideful. I feel too lazy to seriously try humility. Oh man, what a workout this life can be sometimes! God did not send me down here to fail. Ahh! I miss it so much. More than I've ever missed anything in my life. What I wouldn't give to have it back. What I wouldn't give.

Mmm.

Owl City always makes my heart twinge a little bit. A pain born of the memories, but worth the memories.

Pants on the Ground

"Lookin' like a fool witcho pants on the ground!"

That is all.

My Family Can Be Together Forever

At the end of my life, I wouldn't regret that I didn't spend more time doing the urgent things. If I regret anything, it would be that I didn't spend more time on my closest relationships. And I refuse to have regrets! This subject is especially tender since I'm moving on to college in a few months. It's the saddest thing to think that I won't live with my family anymore (unless of course, I turn into hobo...not looking like a future goal of mine). Mum and Dad have sacrificed so much to give other people's children a better future. It hurts me to see my mum thinking she isn't a good mother because she gives so much of her time to serve others instead of her family. She doesn't realize that she's the greatest earthly mother ever! Bless her!

This year, own family theme is family unity, and to keep the momentum, we have a whiteboard we fill with individual and family goals for the week, as well as the family theme, a weekly quote about family, a "help a brotha out" list, an informal prayer roll, the schedule of when Dad is home from flying, any progress we have with our goals throughout the week, and the occasional owl doodle.

My family is more important than good grades, more important than friends, more important than church callings, more important than service projects. Don't get me wrong! I need all those other things - they're essential to life, they bring me joy, but they are not the most important. If homework, hanging out, or Young Women's handouts are keeping me from being close to my family, I need to have a sit-down session with myself! My life's goal is to get my family (present and future) back to Heavenly Dad. No other goal, no matter how valiant it may be, will distract me from that. Now, I'm not saying I'm going to spend every Saturday night with my family. All things in moderation! What I'm saying is that those family duties cannot get crowded out of my life. Just because Family Home Evening may not be urgent does not take away from the fact that it is important, Susannah! What can I sacrifice from my life to become closer to my family? Has texting distanced me from Mum? Can Neil and I hang out instead of both being on Facebook? Can I come straight home to do my homework so I'll have time to be with Dad? Can I make Alastair laugh so hard that he can't use his arms to get off the ground? (The answer is yes, yes I can. haha)

Man, I am so grateful that I have the chance to spend eternity with my family! How boring would it be if I was the only one saying "Ahh who!" or making snelephant noises? Who would I give hugs to?! Bottom line: I love my family. :) We're all getting back to heaven together and nothing will stop us.