How to Improve Your Prayers

'The phrase “mighty prayer” indicates powerful, faith-filled communication with God. Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin (1917–2008) of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles suggested ways we can evaluate and seek to improve the strength of our prayers: May I ask you today to consider the effectiveness of your prayers? How close do you feel to your Heavenly Father? Do you feel that your prayers are answered? Do you feel that the time you spend in prayer enriches and uplifts your soul? Is there room for improvement? There are many reasons our prayers lack power. Sometimes they become routine. Our prayers become hollow when we say similar words in similar ways over and over so often that the words become more of a recitation than a communication. This is what the Savior described as ‘vain repetitions’ (Matthew 6:7). Such prayers, He said, will not be heard. . . .Do your prayers at times sound and feel the same? Have you ever said a prayer mechanically, the words pouring forth as though cut from a machine? Do you sometimes bore yourself as you pray? Prayers that do not demand much of your thought will hardly merit much attention from our Heavenly Father. When you find yourself getting into a routine with your prayers, step back and think. Meditate for a while on the things for which you really are grateful” (“Improving Our Prayers,” in Brigham Young University 2002–2003 Speeches [2003], 160)' -Book of Mormon Institute Manual, pg.184

Another thought I had while I was studying: when I was so so conflicted about coming to SVU, the thought came to me that Heavenly Father would not abandon me if I was really trying to follow a prompting, even if I was mistaken. That gave me a lot of comfort. Even if I flew across the country, studied the wrong thing for a year and a half, wasn't where I was supposed to be, if I was doing it because I really thought it was a prompting, Heavenly Father wasn't going to leave me high and dry. That thought gave me courage I needed to make the decision.

How to Make Big Decisions

Man, I have posted a lot of talks lately. Because they are so good! And they keep coming! And I don't want to lose them! This one is from Elder Anthony D. Perkins, a member of the Quorum of the Seventy, and it's from this month's Ensign. (I'll have to go through and pick out some of my favorite parts later.) Enjoy!

"You young adults are now living in what has been called “the Decade of Decision.” You are making many of the most important choices of your life, such as “going to the temple, serving a mission, getting an education, selecting an occupation, and choosing a companion and being sealed for time and for all eternity in the holy temple.”1

I speak particularly to those who are struggling with one or more of these important decisions—some perhaps almost paralyzed from fear of making the wrong decision or needing reinforcement to remain confident in a decision made previously.

Four lessons of inspired decision making by Nephi, if applied, can reduce your fears and increase your confidence to move forward.

1. Obey the Commandments

The last verse of Nephi’s sacred record encapsulates his life: “For thus hath the Lord commanded me, and I must obey” (2 Nephi 33:15).

Nephi’s faith in and love for the Savior is exemplified in his obedience to God’s commandments. He prayed (see1 Nephi 2:16). He read the scriptures (see 1 Nephi 22:1). He sought and followed direction from a living prophet (see 1 Nephi 16:23–24). Such obedience permitted theHoly Ghost to powerfully accompany Nephi throughout his life and yielded ongoing personal revelation.

You too must stay close to the Lord by keeping God’s commandments. I testify that consistent obedience to small things such as reading the scriptures, praying daily, attending Church meetings, heeding the counsel of living prophets, and serving others will qualify you for the Spirit—and the revelation it brings.

Perfection is not a prerequisite to personal revelation. The prerequisite is daily repentance (see Romans 3:23). If your repentance is sincere and thorough (see D&C 58:42–43), the cleansing power of the Atonement will bring the Spirit to guide you in the weighty decisions of life.

2. Move Forward in Faith

Put yourself in Nephi’s sandals. Your father tells you the Lord has commanded your family to leave your wealth and depart for the wilderness. Wouldn’t you like to know about your journey and destination?

I suppose Nephi would have been thrilled had the Lord clearly revealed his future. But that is not how God worked with Nephi, and it is not how He will work with you.

As Nephi’s family traveled through the wilderness, instructions came to him only “from time to time” (1 Nephi 16:29; 18:1). Viewing his life’s journey with certainty up front would not have provided him the soul-stretching and faith-forming experiences that helped him become a more Christlike man.

If you are waiting for God to reveal what academic major to pursue, whom to marry, what job to accept, where to live, whether to go to graduate school, and how many children to bear, you will likely never leave your apartment. I testify that personal revelation will come only “from time to time.”

Our Heavenly Father wants us to grow, and that includes developing our ability to weigh facts, render judgments, and make decisions. But He also invites us to bring our decisions to Him in prayer (see D&C 9:7–9). Elder Richard G. Scott of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles has taught that answers to our prayers come “in one of three ways.”2

Confirming Assurance

“First,” Elder Scott said, “you can feel the peace, comfort, and assurance that confirm that your decision is right.”3My wife, Christy, and I have found that assurance for critical life-affecting decisions can be communicated through the scriptures, often after temple worship.

For example, after much pondering and praying, we decided to abandon our new dream home in Texas, accept a job transfer, and move with six young children to Beijing, China. But we desperately desired spiritual confirmation for such a momentous move. Divine assurance did come to us—in the temple—as we read these words in the Doctrine and Covenants: “It is my will that you should … tarry not many days in this place; … think not of thy property. Go unto the eastern lands” (D&C 66:5–7).

The voice of Jesus Christ in the scriptures, accompanied by powerful feelings from the Holy Ghost, confirmed that our decision to move to China was right.

Unsettled Feeling

The second way Heavenly Father answers prayers is through an “unsettled feeling, the stupor of thought, indicating that your choice is wrong.”4

After my mission to Taiwan, I thought international law would be a good career choice. As Christy and I considered that possible future, we understood that five more years of expensive education lay ahead.

The U.S. economy was in a deep recession and our funds were limited, so we reasoned that joining the Air Force ROTC would be a wise choice to pay for my schooling. But as I took the required tests and filled out the paperwork, we just could not get comfortable making that commitment. No stupor of thought or dark feelings came—only an absence of peace.

That seemingly illogical financial decision was inspired, in part, because I would have been a horrible lawyer!

Divine Trust

God answers prayers a third way: no response. “When you are living worthily and your choice is consistent with the Savior’s teachings and you need to act,” Elder Scott said, “proceed with trust.”5

Nephi’s final attempt to obtain the brass plates illustrates how we should proceed with divine trust. He recorded:

“I was led by the Spirit, not knowing beforehand the things which I should do.

“Nevertheless I went forth” (1 Nephi 4:6–7).

Moments will arrive during your decade of decision when you cannot procrastinate any longer and must act. I have learned that, as Elder Dallin H. Oaks of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles has taught, “we will get promptings of the Spirit when we have done everything we can, when we are out in the sun working rather than sitting back in the shade praying for direction on the first step to take.”6

As with Nephi, the Spirit will in due time confirm or warn of your chosen path.

3. Live in the Present

Nephi’s commitment on the journey to the promised land stands in stark contrast to that of his brothers Laman and Lemuel. They made the decision to go, but their hearts never left Jerusalem. Nephi was fixing his broken bow to hunt for food and mining ore to build a ship while his brothers seem to have been lounging in a tent.

Today the world has many Lamans and Lemuels. But the Lord needs committed men and women like Nephi. You will experience greater progress in life when you wholly commit to your decisions and strive to excel in your current circumstances even while you have an eye open to the future.

Nephi exemplifies the wise counsel of President Thomas S. Monson: “Daydreaming of the past and longing for the future may provide comfort but will not take the place of living in the present. This is the day of our opportunity, and we must grasp it.”7

4. Draw on the Strength of Others

Even after we have sought the Spirit, moved forward with our decision, and are wholly committed to it, doubts may still arise and cause us to question our decision. In such circumstances a trusted family member or friend can provide counsel and strength to stay the course. I suggest that along his journey, Nephi’s bride became his trusted anchor.

An appreciation for Nephi’s wife came to me while visiting the Church History Museum. I was transfixed by a painting there of Nephi lashed to the mast of a ship, soaked to the skin in a driving storm.8

At Nephi’s side were his wife and one of his children. She was experiencing the same storm and challenges as Nephi, but her eyes were defiant and her strong arms were protectively wrapped around his shoulders. In that moment I realized that I too was blessed to have a loyal spouse offering strength in my times of trial. I hoped that I was a similar strength to her.

Brethren, preserving and enhancing the spiritual strength you developed (or will yet develop) as a missionary or in other righteous service is your best asset in becoming a desirable husband and father. Sisters, spiritual sensitivity, faith, and courage to follow Jesus Christ are among your best qualities as a wife and mother.

I invite you to become the type of person your current or future spouse can draw on for wise counsel and strength. A virtuous man and a worthy woman, sealed for time and all eternity in the temple, can do difficult things as equal partners.

I promise that if you will apply the lessons learned from Nephi and modern prophets about making decisions, you will be led along with personal revelation “from time to time.” As you progress through your decade of decision, may you, as did Nephi, have the faith to say:

“I was led by the Spirit, not knowing beforehand the things which I should do.

“Nevertheless I went forth” (1 Nephi 4:6–7)."

How to Be More Valiant

I've been trying to figure out the essence of being valiant. With the Spirit and my roommates' help, I think I'm on to something. Being valiant is directly proportionate to how you respond to promptings and how strongly you feel the Spirit in your life. So, for me to be valiant, I need to (1) follow the promptings that I have received, (2) do what I can to fine-tune my capacity to feel the Spirit and (3) come to love and trust and seek after those promptings. Such an answer to prayer! This gives me hope. :)

Silence and Succoring

"Elder David R. Stone of the Seventy discussed how techniques used in the construction of the Manhattan New York Temple provide an example of how to remove oneself from the influence of the world: 'Too many of the people of the world have come to resemble the Babylon of old by walking in their own ways and following a god ‘whose image is in the likeness of the world’ [D&C 1:16].

One of the greatest challenges we will face is to be able to live in that world but somehow not be of that world. We have to create Zion in the midst of Babylon. . . . 'My involvement with the building of the Manhattan Temple gave me the opportunity to be in the temple quite often prior to the dedication. It was wonderful to sit in the celestial room and be there in perfect silence, without a single sound to be heard coming from the busy New York streets outside. How was it possible that the temple could be so reverently silent when the hustle and bustle of the metropolis was just a few yards away? 'The answer was in the construction of the temple. The temple was built within the walls of an existing building, and the inner walls of the temple were connected to the outer walls at only a very few junction points. That is how the temple (Zion) limited the effects of Babylon, or the world outside. 'There may be a lesson here for us. We can create the real Zion among us by limiting the extent to which Babylon will influence our lives. . . ." -Book of Mormon Institute Manual

I can't find the source, but I also remember reading a really good thought once (from one of the Quorum of the Twelve, I believe) about how changing our standards to match the world's is like flying on a plane and changing your outfit depending on which countries you flew over! We are celestial material and we cannot conform to the "outfits" of the world. It is not our divine nature.

I also really liked this image: "Teaching about the word succor, Elder Jeffrey R. Holland stated: '[Succor] is used often in the scriptures to describe Christ’s care for and attention to us. It means literally ‘to run to.’ What a magnificent way to describe the Savior’s urgent effort in our behalf. Even as he calls us to come to him and follow him, he is unfailingly running to help us' (“Come unto Me” [CES fireside for young adults, Mar. 2, 1997], 7, www.ldsces.org)." -Book of Mormon Institute Manual

How to Have Courage to Do What is Right

During our forum yesterday, the speaker told a really important insight. He said that not choosing the right is basically not having the courage to choose the right. He asked how we can increase in courage. What makes some people flee while others fight? There was a large study done of soldiers to see what made the difference between people who stayed through battles and others who fled. They checked everything from where they grew up to if they were raised by both parents to if they played sports. They found one thing that separated the two. Those who had courage were those who had clear goals before them and wrote them down. Now, you may know how I feel about the word "goal." It has a negative connotation for me of choosing random measurable tasks and (normally) failing at them or abandoning them within a week. So. I'm going to cross out goal and write purposes. Because I do have purposes. And that word alone makes it seem a lot more meaningful. OKAY. NOW THEN.

My purposes, the things that will help me do right in hard situations, are:

-To always remain a faithful member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

-To be valiant, not casual, in my covenants so that my family and I can live in the celestial kingdom.

-To be worthy of and equally-yoked with a valiant son of God.

-To have a rock-solid testimony for my children, and for my life--past and present--to be an example that they can model their lives after.

P.S. I keep having this thought and I need to do something about it: Elder Bednar gave one of the most powerful promises I have ever heard. He said, "As you respond in faith to this invitation [to do family history]...your testimony of and conversion to the Savior will become deep and abiding. And I promise you will be protected against the intensifying influence of the adversary. As you participate in and love this holy work, you will be safeguarded in your youth and throughout your lives." Folks, this is why I do family history. I need those blessings. We all do. So. I'm going to do something about it, because what I'm doing now isn't sufficing.

Valiant Spirits

Just a new thought that was sparked from Elder Pearson's talk: there are no casual disciples in the celestial kingdom. The souls there feel comfortable being surrounded by men like Abraham, who was willing to sacrifice anything for the Lord. Valiant spirits are in the celestial kingdom. I need to be that valiant spirit. I really believe that the starting point, no matter where you are, is prayer. A prayer that says "Heavenly Father, right now, I really don't want to do what's right. Please help me to overcome that." is a prayer that gets answered. It's like reaching out to a rope so Heavenly Father can help pull you in. All that is required for a prayer to be heard and answered is sincerity. Tell Heavenly Father exactly where you are and ask for help. There is no counsel more oft-repeated in the scriptures than "ask and ye shall receive." He means it.

"Stay by the Tree"

Man, Conference was so good! One idea my bishop gave me is to listen to one talk several times in a row, so that you can catch different things you might otherwise miss. I think it's better to hone in on one talk you need than to try to lightly cover all of them. My favorite talk is by Elder Kevin W. Pearson, a member of the Quorum of the Seventy. My favorite talk last Conference was by Elder Jorg Klebingat, and Elder Pearson's talk reminded me of it. They are both really bold, practical, have six suggestions, and they even both served as mission presidents! There were a ton of powerful one-liners from Elder Pearson, and I'm going to mention some of the thoughts that were most powerful to me.

-"Shortly before President Heber J. Grant passed away, one of the Brethren visited his home. Before he left, President Grant prayed, 'O God, bless me that I shall not lose my testimony and keep faithful to the end!' After nearly 27 years as President of the Church, this was his fervent prayer. His example is a striking reminder that no one, at any age, is immune from Satan’s influence." - A good reminder to me that it's not over til it's over, and that we always need to be praying for the ability to stay strong. If the president of the Church needs to pray for it, I definitely need to.

-"Let me be clear: to 'hang in there' is not a principle of the gospel." - I love how bold this statement is. The statement after it expounds on it: "Enduring to the end means constantly coming unto Christ and being perfected in Him." - Coming unto Christ an active pursuit, while enduring sometimes has the connotation of waiting. Everyone endures, just by the passing of time. But will we endure it well? Will we fulfill the purpose of our lives, to become like God, or are we just trying to wait it out?

-"If enduring to the end is essential to eternal life, why do we struggle to be faithful? We struggle when we are caught between competing priorities." - I've realized these last few weeks that scripture study and prayer are never really an "urgent" matter to the natural man. Sure, homework is urgent because of the deadlines. Eating is urgent for obvious reasons. But there are no earthly-imposed deadlines for spiritual strengthening, which is why I think it can be so easy for them to get pushed aside. These things may not even seem urgent to those who are slipping away. Thus, we have to make it a priority - our first priority - to strengthen ourselves.

- "Casual obedience and lukewarm commitment weaken faith." - Such a good thought, because we would normally think that casual and lukewarm mean neutral, not negative. But here he's saying that it does weaken faith. We cannot be neutral in the gospel. Heavenly Father does not want His children to be casual in the battle around us!

-"Obedience builds faith in Christ." - I once read a quote that said something along the lines of "where there is no obedience, there is no faith." I really liked that, because obedience is something you can actively measure.

-"Search the Book of Mormon and the words of the living prophets every day, every day, every day! It’s the key to spiritual survival and avoiding deception. Without it, we are spiritually lost." - I love practical applications. This is a practical thing I can do with huge blessings promised.

-"Only the Savior has 'the words of eternal life.' Everything else is just words."

-"Apostasy is the reverse of conversion." - For me, this means that if I'm not moving into a greater concentration of conversion, I'm moving on the continuum down towards apostasy. If we're not progressing, we're regressing.

-"If you lose the Spirit, you are lost." - How bold is that! How true is that! How important is that to always remember! Not to say that being lost means that you could never be found again, but that you have let go of the iron rod. Holding on to the iron rod is more than studying the scriptures. It's living those words. And it includes words of Christ personal to you - personal revelation. We need to follow those commandments as well.

-"Once we enter into covenants with God, there is no going back. Giving in, giving up, and giving out are not options." - Covenants are the most serious promises we will ever make. I need a greater understanding of covenants.

-"In the kingdom of God, there is a standard of excellence for exaltation. It requires valiant discipleship!" - This makes me think of the standard of excellence on my mission. They were goals for us to aim for, and our mission president always promised us that where the Lord commands, the Lord provides.

-"If you are struggling, confused, or spiritually lost, I urge you to do the one thing I know will get you back on track. Begin again to prayerfully study the Book of Mormon and live its teachings every day, every day, every day!" - Again, a very practical application with a very powerful promise. I feel like he is throwing a rope that people can immediately grab on to!

-"Our daily discipleship will determine our eternal destiny. "

Okay, so I basically just quoted the entire talk, but can you blame me? So powerful! I have had the word "valiant" on my mind a lot lately. I want to be valiant, not casual. This talk was so good for me.