Earthly Father, Heavenly Father

I love this video! I was thinking about my dream life yesterday and I realized that it would be a lot like this one. Preferably with a mint-colored Ford truck from the fifties. :)

How to Really Change

This has been a powerhouse week. On Tuesday I finished my papers and submitted them to the bishop! Ahh! So exciting and scary! I'll tell you what, the adversary worked on me really hard that day. I expected it a little bit because my roommate told me that's how it was for her before she left for the mission. She was right! haha. I was filled with doubts and passivity. All from the adversary. Finally, I called my brother about an hour before I had my appointment and he helped me through and broke down the lies the adversary was trying to get me to believe. He likened the First Vision to how I was feeling. He asked what Joseph Smith did when the adversary tried to bind his tongue.

me: "He prayed."
him: "Nope, what did he do?"
me: "He prayed."
him: "Nope, he prayed HARDER and HARDER."

He talked about how the adversary knew this was going to be a good thing and he was trying to stop it, just like he did when Joseph Smith was about to say a prayer that would change the world forever. It was such a good conversation; it strengthened me and helped me see clearly. After that I texted my family and asked if they would all pray for me. They did, and I felt it. My mum, especially. She told me that she had been cross-country skiing at the time and she knelt down and poured out her heart to Heavenly Father and the Savior for me. Mothers' prayers are so powerful and it's making me cry just thinking about it! I know that on my mission those prayers will sustain me.

Another thing that has made this week so good has been the inspiration I've gotten. A few days ago I had the inspiration that if I want my scripture study to be effective, I need to have a purpose for each study session instead of just reading. You'd think I would have thought of that after 20 years of living! But I never had. haha. So I started doing it and my scripture study has become so much richer! I highly highly recommend it to all of you. It will help you love the scriptures! Also, pray before you study, asking to have the Spirit during your study, and ask specifically to be led in your question or purpose for that day's study. I have also come to see the importance of studying the scriptures every day for half an hour (as asked of us by my stake president)! That was quite a stretch from five minutes a day during high school, but I have come to love it, and nothing less is adequate for me now. As my bishop told me once, it takes about 15 minutes to even get into really focusing on studying scriptures! Also, our stake president asked us to study in the morning, because the scriptures give us the Spirit, which we need all day, not just right before we fall asleep! I'm sure there are different circumstances out there for everyone, but scripture study is one of the most important things we can do. Make it a priority and see the Lord bless your life!

So, a few days ago I was discouraged. I felt completely stuck in my ways, like nothing I try to do will change me. So I took that concern to my scripture study. ONE OF THE MOST POWERFUL SCRIPTURE STUDIES I HAVE EVER HAD! First I searched through the Topical Guide about change. I was led to Mosiah 5:2. This is right after the Book of Mormon king, King Benjamin, gave his last words of counsel to his people before he passed away. After his powerful words, he asked his people if they believed his words - "And they all cried with one voice, saying: Yea, we believe all the words which thou hast spoken unto us; and also, we know of their surety and truth, because of the Spirit of the Lord Omnipotent, which has wrought a mighty change in us, or in our hearts, that we have no more disposition to do evil, but to do good continually."

So I learned that change is possible, and it comes from the Spirit. I also learned that true change comes from our desires being changed, not just the fruits of our desires, our actions, being changed.

So my next question was "How do I change my desires?"

I learned that this desire to do good comes from faith. Next question: "How do I grow in faith?"

I was somehow led to a page on lds.org about faith, and one of the headings said "How can I increase my faith?" Heavenly Father was definitely aware of me. This page said to grow in faith requires us to pray for faith, to live the Savior's teachings, and (most important to me that day) studying the scriptures. It quoted Romans 10:17 - "So then faith cometh by hearing, and hearing by the word of God."

There is was! True change comes from the Spirit and desire. Desire comes from faith. And faith and the Spirit come from studying the scriptures!

Since then, I have tried to spend more time in the scriptures and all the good resources the Church gives us. I have felt the Spirit a lot stronger and I have come to love the scriptures more! I promise you that if you have a purpose to your study and spend more time in the scriptures, you will feel the Spirit more and have a greater desire to do what is right!

If you want to live my life...

...listen to these two songs at least 17 times per day:

-Walk On By by Noosa
-Go Do by Jonsi

Moderation in all things?

Real Men

My feelings are tender tonight. I just finished watching 17 Miracles. Those Saints are so faithful. They were so strong; words cannot express that strongly enough. As I watched I thought about the trials they went through and I thought to myself, “How can I be as faithful as they were?”. They are worthy role models to aspire to be like. As President Hinckley said, we should never stop being grateful for them.

I want to talk about heroes.

There is a scene in the movie where several men volunteer to carry the rest of the company across the Sweetwater River in the dead of winter. That scene touched me deeply. They are real men. The greatest indicator of a real man is someone who selflessly sacrifices all that is required for the welfare of others. I think about the men in my life and what they would do if they were at Sweetwater River in the winter of 1856. I have no doubt in my mind that my brothers and father would be some of the first to volunteer, and that brings tears to my eyes. There are so many other men I know who would do the same. They are real men and I am deeply grateful for their strong, selfless characters. I am grateful for the Levi Savages in my life and someday I hope to marry one. Brothers, if any of you are reading this, know that I and other women are so grateful for your sacrifices, for your priesthood service, for your being stalwart in such a corrupted world. I’m sure life can be hard for you and that it can be difficult for you to stay strong. There may even be times that you have fallen. Know that we stand behind you and we’ll do all we can to help you.

"Of Regrets and Resolutions"

Dear three people who read this blog:

I had an epiphany last night. Actually, it was at 2 am this morning. ANYWAYS, let me tell you my story...

(curtains pull back mysteriously)

Heavenly Father told me last night in a way that couldn't be unheard that I need to stop trying to find happiness by changing my circumstances. Each thread in the string that was supposed to support my happiness was cut individually over this last semester. Last night was the last thread (or straw, you could say). In a way that sort of poked the bruises of my weaknesses, I got the message.

And so, after that event happened and after sitting on the couch moaning about it, I remembered that I still needed to read my scriptures. It was two in the morning (but that's normal, haha). I sat down on the kitchen floor to do so. I tried studying the Book of Mormon, but it's hard to pull out applications when you're sitting on your kitchen floor, with a headache, mind preoccupied with the last few hours' events, at two in the morning. I turned instead to general conference talks. Heavenly Father loves me. He directed me to the exact talks I needed. I have been wondering for a while now how to become truly converted, and I found the answer in Elder Ballard's "Be Anxiously Engaged": "...

Do we just go through the motions, or are we truly converted to the gospel of Jesus Christ? How do we take the seed of faith that has been nurtured in our minds and plant it deep in the fertile soil of our souls? How do we make the mighty change of heart that Alma says is essential for our eternal happiness and peace? (see Alma 5:12–21)....There is one simple daily practice that can make a difference for every member of the Church, including you boys and girls, you young men and you young women, you single adults, and you fathers and mothers.

That simple practice is: In your morning prayer each new day, ask Heavenly Father to guide you to recognize an opportunity to serve one of His precious children. Then go throughout the day with your heart full of faith and love, looking for someone to help. Stay focused, just like the honeybees focus on the flowers from which to gather nectar and pollen. [A side note from Suzy: This is important for me, because I often get distracted by to-do lists and stresses. I'm going to change that.] If you do this, your spiritual sensitivities will be enlarged and you will discover opportunities to serve that you never before realized were possible."

And, if that wasn't enough of an answer to prayer, Heavenly Father gave me another talk! "Of Regrets and Resolutions" by President Uchtdorf. "So often we get caught up in the illusion that there is something just beyond our reach that would bring us happiness: a better family situation, a better financial situation, or the end of a challenging trial...The older we get, the more we look back and realize that external circumstances don’t really matter or determine our happiness. We do matter. We determine our happiness. You and I are ultimately in charge of our own happiness...We shouldn’t wait to be happy until we reach some future point, only to discover that happiness was already available—all the time! Life is not meant to be appreciated only in retrospect. “This is the day which the Lord hath made … ,” the Psalmist wrote. “Rejoice and be glad in it.”6 Brothers and sisters, no matter our circumstances, no matter our challenges or trials, there is something in each day to embrace and cherish. There is something in each day that can bring gratitude and joy if only we will see and appreciate it. Perhaps we should be looking less with our eyes and more with our hearts. I love the quote: “One sees clearly only with the heart. Anything essential is invisible to the eyes.”7 We are commanded “to give thanks in all things.”8 So isn’t it better to see with our eyes and hearts even the small things we can be thankful for, rather than magnifying the negative in our current condition? [this phrase was the climax for me]...Let us resolve to be happy, regardless of our circumstances."

I realized something VERY important last night. No set of circumstances, no matter how perfect they are, will EVER make me happy. Only my attitude can do that. And that attitude depends upon two things: gratitude and service. And those are two things that I CAN control, no matter what my circumstances are. So, from now on I'm going to stop paying attention to the tiny problems in my life and instead focus on my blessings and on others. I'm going to spend my thoughts on searching out the opportunity to serve daily that Heavenly Father has put in my path, all day ery day. And I'm going to be infinitely happier for it. :)

I'll tell you what, I test-drove being grateful and giving service this morning. I have not been that happy in far too long.

I've heard this truth for years! But sometimes I need things phrased the perfect way at the perfect time for it to finally resonant with me. It's like when someone tries to find your reflex by hitting under your kneecap in just the right spot. BOOM. That was last night. MAY I NEVER FORGET IT. I needed to write this post so that if I lose my focus again, I can remember this truth and be happy again.

I have a testimony that the conference addresses given each six months contain the answer to whatever trial you're facing. I don't know how He does it, but Heavenly Father fills those twelve hours of talks with something that will bless each of His children who will listen, with whatever they face the incoming months. And, in terms of my new world view (in other words, repentance), I am SO grateful to know that no matter what comes in my life, I have a sure and steady guide in the prophets to help me personally, though I will probably never sit down to counsel with them personally. I'm so grateful for that assurance. I invite you to utilize that blessing daily: http://www.lds.org/general-conference/

Spiritual Food Pyramid

Dear blogitos:

My musical palate is tuned to this music - it is the grains section in my musical food pyramid because it's filling and it's SO good for me! Because, even after a few hours of listening to my "weekday" music (like Coldplay and Jack Johnson) I get drained and it always makes me feel like I just ate thirteen bags of Oreos and two bags of marshmallows (and there's plenty of music out there I can't even try to digest, like hard rock and heavy metal - pun intended). Honestly though, there is a lot of gross music out there that is so harmful to us that it's not even on the pyramid - it's in the haz mat container.

So! Here's the best of the best of the best that I've found in 8,293 days of life! Anyone have any recommendations for other good music? Because..."if there is anything virtuous, lovely, or of good report or praiseworthy, we seek after these things." (Article of Faith 13)

Rob Gardner - Lamb of God album (especially Finale - Here is Hope)
Kurt Bestor - Prayer of the Children (classic)
Mindy Gledhill - Sum of Grace album
Jon Schmidt
Mormon Tabernacle Choir (classic)
Steven Sharp Nelson
Jenny Oaks Baker (especially Gabriel's Oboe - it is music from the celestial kingdom, I tell you!)
Especially for Youth albums (especially 2004 and 2008-2012)
William Joseph - Be Still album
Michael McLean - The Forgotten Carols album
Katherine Nelson
Kalai - The Pauper's Hymnal album
Kenneth Cope - All About You album
Paul Cardall - Variations on a Sacred Theme album; Count Thou Fount
https://www.lds.org/youth/music?lang=eng (free downloads) - Strength Beyond My Own; Arise

This music has been a huge fire in my spirituality. After listening to any of these songs, I feel spiritually fed, called to a higher peak. Come! Partake!

Life happens fast...